| I've Never Fucked A Lover
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Luxy
| Hes not the one | 1 |
the shadow sitting in the corner | 2 |
the one sipping bourbon out of a dirty glass, | 3 |
desperate for a lady | 4 |
who can never keep her mind straight | 5 |
or legs closed. | 6 |
And what of that? | 7 |
I keep kissing things | 8 |
that call me baby and I am that girl | 9 |
that twists him up in knots and tight bows. | 10 |
I turn the lamps off to let the darkness hide my skin. | 11 |
I let the music play all over. | 12 |
And for what? A few exhausted limbs? | 13 |
To ruin silence? | 14 |
All those pains | 15 |
don’t burn the bone, | 16 |
they can’t cure the disease | 17 |
or put it out at night. | 18 |
I suppose death | 19 |
can only make me orgasm. | 20 |
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27 Aug 08 |
Rated 8.5 (8.5) by 6 users.
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Comments:
I think Jung when I read stuff like this that's SO relevant to a space I might be in at the time of reading. There's no way you could know how brilliant this was for me to read this morning. I love it. Your poem tapped my gut line by line.
— CervusWright
I suppose death is the only man for me.
21
Who can make me orgasm.
22
No period at the end of line 21, otherwise 22 is a poorly punctuated question. The transition from 4-5 is a little explosive... otherwise neat, I don't feel a lot of depth or wordplay here, its just a reader, one of those poems written to get the words off your chest. I like it.
— technomancer
i found the last line to be over-exposed...so much light in my eye i can't see the colours. . .
i guess it is sort of brave to be so explicit. the truth is the truth, i suppose...just not, you know, poetically poetic.
like the first 4 lines.
— DeformedLion
It hits so close to home, I almost questioned if I wrote this content before.
— thirdeyris
thanks
— Luxy
i love this poem. i feel the same way sometimes, except i'm a male. i really like lines 11-13 a lot and the last two.
— infinity
This is bitter. I like it.
— SarahMichele
P.S. Maybe change the last two lines ... ex. "I suppose only death could make me orgasm" rather than "death is the only man.." - just a suggestion.
— SarahMichele
You need to meet me...
I could perhaps help you out.
;-)
— Salamander
ps why is death a man?
rather sexist don't you think?
— Salamander
shavedcunnie?
— unknown
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