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[untitled rhyme thang]
DeformedLion

smile like a lemon wedge
 1
lightless, weighed
 2
against the salt and sting
 3
 
 
war of fruition
 4
with kamikaze lean
 5
to risk the lips, in kiss
 6
 
 
and touch in bliss,
 7
oblivion!
 8

27 Aug 08

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Comments:

lemony light in a summer rhyme with the boundless depths of obliv i on -- a little gem with the sword of Damocles hanging over it -- I like the light play of the first strophe and the serious under-sting of the third line which transforms the alluded mouthing to a risk of lips in an eternal kiss where lost in such embrace we find these Lovers merged all over the place -- yet it's kinda drunk on itself with that fain allusion to lemon smiles though the inner whisper is boldly on fire -- contrasting is the play of light and heavy (oblivion)
 — AlchemiA

thanks.
 — DeformedLion

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