| [untitled rhyme thang]
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DeformedLion
| smile like a lemon wedge | 1 |
lightless, weighed | 2 |
against the salt and sting | 3 |
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war of fruition | 4 |
with kamikaze lean | 5 |
to risk the lips, in kiss | 6 |
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and touch in bliss, | 7 |
oblivion! | 8 |
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27 Aug 08 |
Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
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Comments:
lemony light in a summer rhyme with the boundless depths of obliv i on -- a little gem with the sword of Damocles hanging over it -- I like the light play of the first strophe and the serious under-sting of the third line which transforms the alluded mouthing to a risk of lips in an eternal kiss where lost in such embrace we find these Lovers merged all over the place -- yet it's kinda drunk on itself with that fain allusion to lemon smiles though the inner whisper is boldly on fire -- contrasting is the play of light and heavy (oblivion)
— AlchemiA
thanks.
— DeformedLion
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