poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Mormon Boy
sybarite

buttoned down and oh so earnest
 1
in your starched shirt and tie
 2
face scrubbed as clean as your soul
 3
you are beautiful, did you know that?
 4
almost GQ, the scar on your lip redeems you
 5
I'm thinking about how I'd like to bite it
 6
while you're preaching about how to save me
 7
I'm full on ready for a baptism
 8
already wet
 9
take off your clothes
 10
let me tarnish your halo
 11
and show you what else can be done
 12
in the missionary position
 13

21 Sep 08

Rated 9.5 (8.7) by 4 users.
Active (4): 5, 10, 10
Inactive (26): 1, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(129 more poems by this author)

(7 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

there is a wry wit flowing through it and you've a Loving heart to prey that way
 — AlchemiA

Another poem of yours I've added to my favourites.  Don't stop - so delicious & naughty!
 — the_lost_one

brilliant observation and delicious sexuality - made me smile too :)
 — Mongrol

wow....i really love this
 — MGW

I'm thinking about
how I'd like to bite you,
Face scrubbed
clean as your soul.

Ooooooooh Missionary.
 — unknown

just a slam, something someone would write about people who wear black and hang out at coffee houses. i was hoping maybe for something with insight, though i can't see the context providing it -- 'poem about something'. it's like checking time magazine for the cover article, and i think the burden on this author to be clever and clever again is kind of missionary on me and i'm sort of pre-occupied in the theologic. but, this wasn't about theology at all, was it? just some boys you're tripping on.
 — joey

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaa. fucking fabulous.
 — shadowskiss

this is hot.
i really like it.
made me have "bad" thoughts haha
 — lostkid

you've obviously never spent any time in Salt Lake City. Like Joey stated... nothing theologic here, nothing that relates to Mormonism - change the title, at least. I'd be amused to see how fast you'd delete this poem if you ever dealt with a real "Mormon Boy".

-sarah
 — unknown

The title is Mormon Boy--it's about a Mormon Boy, not Mormonism so I don't see the problem with the title, nor is it a "slam" against Mormons or Mormonism.  It's about a very attractive young man who came to my door.  The poem is about the not so pious thoughts that crossed my mind during my interaction with him.  It seems pretty straight forward to me--it should be taken as is, face value, there is no underlying "message" here.  And for the record, my brother and his family are Mormons so I do have some experience with and around Mormons.  

Thanks for reading and all feedback is appreciated.
 — sybarite

This a total crack up, no pun intended, sorta, VERY creative... j.g.smiles
 — goeszon

Thank you goeszon, for reading this for what it is--gratitude and smiles (of course!).
 — sybarite

I was a missionary!! I am a Mormon...
 — vida

make more missionaries.

you have much talent in this arena.
 — PaleHorse

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Two years old, how did I ever miss this gem?  
 — Isabelle5

LOL wor a crackin' poem. This is what everyone needs to read over their corn flakes but mine are all over the wall when I LOL with a mouthful while reading this

Larry snap crackle pop Lark
 — larrylark

well done indeed!
 — unknown

You make me want to be mormon.
 — unknown

haha. aren't they so cute though?
 — unknown

the one in Latter Days was adorable. i think it's that that can't really do anything about it even if they do have their little wandering eyes all over you. love love this poem also.
 — unknown

It's always such a surprise to see an old poem on the recently commented.  Thanks everyone who has commented.  Reid--"wet puss poem"--what a delightful phrase!  Many thanks for a morning smile!
 — sybarite

haha great.
 — unknown

well, hell for breakfast sybarite!!
O.O

you gotta watch out for those mormon boys...you might become the 6th wife.
 — mandolyn

i hope you had your pen in condom.
 — unknown

^Mandolyn a very few Mormons are polygamist, do a little research.
 — unknown

^ I know that unk. I was being silly. (lighten up) Or actually, watch "sister wives"
 — mandolyn

Don't make fun of Mormons please. And don't tell people to lighten up.
They're both rude.
 — unknown

Thanks for reading Mandolyn and the haha unk.
 — sybarite

^This is awesome sybarite :)
Mandolyn quit being rude.
 — unknown

this is delightful sybarite. rofl.
 — unknown

$$
 — unknown

^^^ i was not being rude-- you're a just a bit too sensitive.
 — mandolyn

I am Mormon and I don't appreciate the insensitive wise cracks.
You insult Mormonism, then call me too sensitive, because I tell you to not be rude and to try to show respect to others.
Your a real class act.
 — unknown

^ i was not being rude, i was being silly and sybarite knows exactly what i was doing. this is her poem. you need to loosen up. do you not realize how many times i have been made fun of on here for being a christian? it doesn't bother me...and i have had some pretty mean biters come at me.

i apologise if what i said offended you- i never meant to be come across that way.
 — mandolyn

Thanks assorted unks.
Mandolyn, I'm with you, I didn't find your comment rude either(sorry unk).  To associate Mormon with polygamy is not at all unusual.  (Yes, we know it is no longer the 'norm')
I took your comment as light-hearted ribbing.
 — sybarite

yes, that was rude sorry.
 — unknown

secksy
 — unknown

<3 it
 — antipoetry

trite, coming from someone just as narrowly locked inside an artificial culture.
 — unknown

Still love it.  What a sense of tawdy, tarnished humor.  No wonder I like you!
 — Isabelle5

nice
 — unknown

exactly how i feel about mormon boys. yum yum!
 — adhector

if a male wrote this he would be accused of a crime


mary k le tourneauuu
 — unknown

Yes! Yes! Yes!
 — wolflarsen

Except for poor punctuation, it's better than most of the crap in this site.
 — unknown

Every time someone someone brings their religous position to me door I will think f this and be a little kinder.
 — unknown

haha great
 — unknown

LOL!  Cute!  I know...I've had similar fantasies about these hot-lookin' Bible-thumpin' dudes TOO!  GRRRR!!!!  We will burn in the fire and brimstone of Hell for these thoughts!!!!  ;-)
 — starr

Yeh, Syb got this one so right :)
 — jenn

Mormons :) They are everywhere where I live.
I don't sleep with any of them though.
 — 9

Wow, this is brilliant and vivid. I love the play on words ("baptism...already wet"). Makes me think about all those I've desired that I could never have, and I'm all for a forbidden romance.
 — LauraMarie

:-)
 — unknown

=(
 — unknown

Is this about Donny and Marie ???
 — matrinh20

0.345s