poetry critical

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a philistine smoke with rapping feet
unknown

Philistine smokes atop rapping feet herald the tongue slapping bard,
 1
therein lies Turkish silver nights
 2
'neath the frequented city sky,
 3
whither ashes tumble,
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veered from exhales of steam trails dispersing.
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Jonah frowns for each happening as Bartholomew speaks
 6
for to scavenge the collective hindsight;
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beckoning the forgotten phantoms
 8
once conjured within eyeshot,
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whilst the ease of changing winds sooth each singular pain.
 10
 
 
The bygone boy remembered to one left rambling short,
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cast by turns of clouded infinity,
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wandering roads with pariah prances.
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16 Oct 08

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Comments:

Brilliant! You are one of my favorite poets. Whoever you are!
 — OKcomputer

good arch and baroque writing -- procul harum without melody, what he'd read in the paper -- between the lines. impressive construction, a costume piece from the days of charles the second, easy rider kingdom of slap-me once, i'm in love, slap me twice, i'll kill you. partial infinities.
 — geckodrome

this is just bollocks, sorry.
 — unknown

perl before visual basic, dud. it's a working piece of art.
 — geckodrome

i'm not learned in eras, but baroque seems swell.

as for bollocks, i've got a pair.
 — villicana

yah uve got a pair - of pube
 — OKcomputer

this is another trite poem writing in a diction centuries old, and doing it inaccurately...... and somehow tricking joey into thinking its good. Which is a bad thing.
 — unknown

it's about poetry for me and this one's got some style and that thing 'composition', which is like a subtext dialog with the reader made up of kinetic movements. it's flavored writing and there's nothing wrong with that -- it's not meant to be authentic diction, you feel, but it's not offensively pretending, in a Mor or less insulting anti-intellectual way, and that's rare. i don't write 'easy' and i'm always impressed with writing which simply lays back and allows a atmosphere to build around the cadences.

imagine -- but maybe this is too antique now -- joni mitchell singing this slowly and articulating this out for you. i think you'd feel it then.
 — geckodrome

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