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Consorting with Hobbits and Wizards
PaulS

The rain came suddenly;
 1
not the kind that might tempt you
 2
to don a raincoat
 3
and join it for a morning walk,
 4
but a monstrous rain
 5
remembered from childhood.
 6
It hissed and growled,
 7
pressing its ugly maw against
 8
the window saying,
 9
“there’s no place outside for you today.”
 10
So I heeded the warning and drifted
 11
back to the child of myself.
 12
 
 
All morning and afternoon
 13
I roamed Middle Earth
 14
consorting with Hobbits and Wizards,
 15
dining with Kings, dancing with Queens.
 16
I learned the language of Elves.
 17
I stood on the parapets of man
 18
wielding a mighty sword against
 19
tyranny, evil, and injustice;
 20
carving a heart
 21
into a heartless land.
 22
 
 
That evening, cocooned in the comfort
 23
of soft sheets, bathed
 24
in the blaze of a white moon,
 25
I thought how wondrous it would be,
 26
if each morning
 27
I could strap on my armor
 28
and carry the luminous light
 29
of childhood magic
 30
into the darkness of the world.
 31

25 Oct 08

Rated 9 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (1): 9, 10

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Comments:

1xd10, 1xd20 and 1100 XP.

this takes me back to the early 80's. i enjoyed it. thank you.
 — raskolniikov

this takes me back to last saturday. i enjoyed it. thank you.
 — onklcrispy

takes me back to all those days involving a couple friends and playing some random sowrd-and-magic type game... with our own characters.. and borrowing from anime series... and final fantasy games... and using sticks for swords, very nostalgic for me. delighted that you wrote it.
 — spenceappeal

Thanks for the comments rask, onklcrispy and spenceappeal, I enjoyed writing this.
 — PaulS

I always liked this poem.
nice to read again, Paul.

(the "and's" are my only nit in L8(then change to "pressing"?, and in L16 & 24).
thanks. =-)
 — jenakajoffer

I need to go find the Sword in the Stone books that my children left behind.  This is so very good.  I have no nits at all.  
 — Isabelle5

Thanks Jen and Isabelle.  Jen, I'll think about your suggestions--I have to read it out loud to see what it sounds like with those changes.  
 — PaulS

Jen, I made the changes you suggested, thanks.
 — PaulS

I really don't know what to make of your comment clmt, but thanks for reading.
 — PaulS

Clmt, it would appear, is a man unto his own
 — syrossoul

Thanks for reading syrossoul.
 — PaulS

bump.
 — PaulS

|8 pressing
|9 comma after window
|10 change period to semi, outside brackets, or leave as is and delete So from |11
|11 comma after warning
|13 comma after morning, comma after afternoon
|26 wondrous is a bit wonky. although i understand it sounds better than the pedestrian-though-more-correct wonderful
|29 luminous light is an horrible redundancy
 — unknown

Thanks for the read and comments unknown, but I don't need most of the commas you speak of because "and" is the connector in those lines.
 — PaulS

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