|Consorting with Hobbits and Wizards
The rain came suddenly;
not the kind that might tempt you
to don a raincoat
and join it for a morning walk,
but a monstrous rain
remembered from childhood.
It hissed and growled,
pressing its ugly maw against
the window saying,
“there’s no place outside for you today.”
So I heeded the warning and drifted
back to the child of myself.
All morning and afternoon
I roamed Middle Earth
consorting with Hobbits and Wizards,
dining with Kings, dancing with Queens.
I learned the language of Elves.
I stood on the parapets of man
wielding a mighty sword against
tyranny, evil, and injustice;
carving a heart
into a heartless land.
That evening, cocooned in the comfort
of soft sheets, bathed
in the blaze of a white moon,
I thought how wondrous it would be,
if each morning
I could strap on my armor
and carry the luminous light
of childhood magic
into the darkness of the world.
25 Oct 08
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1xd10, 1xd20 and 1100 XP.
this takes me back to the early 80's. i enjoyed it. thank you.
this takes me back to last saturday. i enjoyed it. thank you.
takes me back to all those days involving a couple friends and playing some random sowrd-and-magic type game... with our own characters.. and borrowing from anime series... and final fantasy games... and using sticks for swords, very nostalgic for me. delighted that you wrote it.
Thanks for the comments rask, onklcrispy and spenceappeal, I enjoyed writing this.
I always liked this poem.
nice to read again, Paul.
(the "and's" are my only nit in L8(then change to "pressing"?, and in L16 & 24).
I need to go find the Sword in the Stone books that my children left behind. This is so very good. I have no nits at all.
Thanks Jen and Isabelle. Jen, I'll think about your suggestions--I have to read it out loud to see what it sounds like with those changes.
Jen, I made the changes you suggested, thanks.
I really don't know what to make of your comment clmt, but thanks for reading.
Clmt, it would appear, is a man unto his own
Thanks for reading syrossoul.
|9 comma after window
|10 change period to semi, outside brackets, or leave as is and delete So from |11
|11 comma after warning
|13 comma after morning, comma after afternoon
|26 wondrous is a bit wonky. although i understand it sounds better than the pedestrian-though-more-correct wonderful
|29 luminous light is an horrible redundancy
Thanks for the read and comments unknown, but I don't need most of the commas you speak of because "and" is the connector in those lines.