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Wales (uponreturningtolioncottageafterthanksgiving)
hank

Lore
 1
enchantedcrags
 2
spiritsoupvalleysandvillages
 3
sheepdisappearontheleeside
 4
sungreenslopestheydotwhite
 5
greydrivingroadwinds
 6
greydividingwallsbeeline
 7
undulatinglaughingslate
 8
stonestronggeometrichattedhead
 9
fingerlessglovesfeedfire
 10
spirits
 11
allthewhile
 12
flitinandflitoutandcomeandgo
 13
asyouplease
 14
makegoodneighbors.
 15

witten(unintentionally)preciselyoneyearaftermovingin.

30 Nov 08

Rated 2 (4.8) by 4 users.
Active (4):
Inactive (3): 1, 2, 2, 4, 8, 8, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(440 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

space bar broke?
 — unknown

after all the sugarlove poems coming down here recently, this is fresh. fresh as a carnation, but fresh and more consistent than not. what you're doing is showing the truth of poetry as 'phrasing', showing that it's not about one ironic put-down word. that's refreshing.

humm, looking at the lamer comment 'space bar...' i'm glad you did this, even if it's just to show the tweety-pies that writing is about writing.
 — unknown

tounknown#1-yes.
tounknown#2-3,thankyou.
 — hank

Ikindalikethis.  It'sgotaflavorallitsownanditremindsmeo fchocolatesyrupbeingdrizzledovericecream.  However, it does make for some challgenging reading where the each line is so crammed together in clusters of letters.  It's stylish though, but done before, I believe (maybe E.E. Cummings?)  Nonthelessithinkit'scoolinitsownright.  ; :-)
 — starr

cummings didn't do this kind of phrase merging, and cumming's lower-case is something he picked up from reading other languages. but, certainly cummings was never ballsy enough to do what hank's doing here.
 — unknown

you still need to write a proper poem joey.


great format hank .. joy to read
 — Mongrol

Try Dylan Thomas also. He enjoyed his space though - helped with the drinking.
 — unknown

the intelligent people like this -- starr and mongrol -- and that's proof i think that it works, that it's a real poem. but, people like plots, but in this case it's hard to work this, you have to read it, and that's beyond plot.

again, i think the truth in this is the truth that poetry works in phrases and not as a set of smart words. one talks the talk, but this, by joining language with the body and its motions, walks the walk.
 — geckodrome

Nice imagery within the word-mash, your stuff's really readable once you learn to read it
 — GWH

nice one.
 — hank

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