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The Snow Room
larrylark

Snow started in the passage,
 1
thickening through dim light,
 2
swirling among aromas of hot oil,
 3
funnelling her towards distant sounds
 4
in an alien world defined
 5
by its own machinations,
 6
hard and functional.
 7
 
 
Snow piled in corners,
 8
resting on bales
 9
stacked row upon row.
 10
Men stooped to carry wicker baskets,
 11
walking slowly, glanced at her clothes.
 12
Why is she dressed for the cold?
 13
Women gave barely a second glance
 14
as they hurried on.
 15
 
 
She stopped before a wooden door
 16
lifted the latch, drew it back.
 17
Blizzard blinded her, scarce able to see
 18
what she had come to find.
 19
Machines, line upon line
 20
tended by all manner of men, women,
 21
children crawling beneath as weave
 22
became weft. Where is she?
 23
"Anne, Anne, Anne."
 24
she called and glimpsed her briefly,
 25
crouched beneath, ghostly eyes vacated,
 26
as men pushed and pulled the weaving bar.
 27
"Anne!" she called again.
 28
 
 
Tap tap tap against the window pane.
 29
She woke startled in freezing air,
 30
slipped into work dress, clogs,
 31
went downstairs and out.
 32
Anne lay as ice under a makeshift
 33
blanket shroud on a boxwood table.
 34
Snow flaked, fell round her head;
 35
the cause of death.
 36

8 Jan 09

Rated 7 (6.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (2): 5, 8

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Comments:

larry flaked rhymes with naked lark
 — unknown

Love the title but I got lost in the room.  Are they snowmakers?  I like the story I could find.
 — Isabelle5

Lines 8-15 are amazing. The repetition of the long o sound makes the whole stanza have a wonderful and open sound, and it gives it a great pace and rhythm. The poem is a little cryptic regarding the nature of the snow room, but that could als be the intention. Cheers
 — palus924

Bared my ass and it came to pass...Wind, that is

Larry vindaloo Lark
 — unknown

This is based on the BBC adaptation of North and South by Elizebeth Gaskell where one of the  the daughters of the poor cotton working family is afflicted by cotton dust disease ans dies. The tap tap is the sound of the knocker up who used to come down the street tapping bedroom windows with a long pole so that people would wake up for work.

Larry dem old cotton fields back home Lark
 — unknown

Hi Palus

Thanks for the crit it is appreciated
 — larrylark

I like weird, entertaining, good

Larry weird lark
 — larrylark

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