thank you for your comment geckodrome.
i know the ending is/was going to sound, (pause) abstract.
but between us i think it says something real.
but 'test 1' certainly is.
between you and me, as a poem, it shouldn't depend on abstract truths. poem-truth is how it works on the reader, not on the author.
by 'us' i meant vanessa and i.
but upon rereading i noticed that 'us' could
have been interpreted as me and you.
i meant by 'us', vanessa and me.
i couldn't have written it without posting it here
where poetry gets thrown
like a dead, burnt body
like petals blown to the wind.
this is where i post it notes.
for all your insightful observations
i think you are still missing the most obvious
yes, it's a poem to her.
yes it's a poem to you, and me.
but you've not even mentioned, or queried,
about the words that are to noone.
i put them in the middle of the fucking poem!
within quotes! tried to bring them to the forefront.
yet you haven't even mentioned
the most important words in the poem
you've settled on commenting on the shores of this poem.
do yourself a favor.
look up either or.
re: the comment - "between you and me, as a poem, it shouldn't depend on abstract truths. poem-truth is how it works on the reader, not on the author." by geckodrome, I wonder where this idea comes from? and I say this with REAL curiosity. I was Taught in university that the author creates a personal truth in abstract, that is interpreted by the reader as they choose to interpret it, and the original meaning isn't that important. I always hated this idea and prefer the one put forward by Gecko. Is this a "clinical" idea you have posted? or one you came up with on your own? Either way, I like it.
i know it's a poem for her... the problem is exactly that you're playing off poetry gestures like the kierkegaardener moment as though this was a universal poetry, and posting it here as poetry. you get back what you put into it, dude.
I'm sure you drank it.