|v. i was born from careless passion (and I heard grunge music)
hi, i'm 21. already i am thinking about murder. i need to get the fuck out of here because my pastor keeps haunting me. i think he masturbates to me at night because he walked shamefaced by. am i seeing every man as that man? is there a very gentle way to bend his neck?
i am in the housewife library. these angry women, resentful of the sex that became a furry fetus leash. old women exchange their ages. "I graduated in '85." "Oh, my son works at the deli there."
How to make your dollars go further: make sure they put the white mocha in your latte, growl at the coffee slaves. it is okay: they are helpless and talk too much (there aint room for two emotional people in this basement), they're the kinda kids that make you feel like a mother. god damn him for putting that on me.if you have ideas you should write them down, you can't fly a kite without yr umbilical cord tied tight.
Not being a slut, I am in a lonesome place. like-aged men want to sodomize and violate their girlfriends and live out their favorite porn scenes, and nobody wants to do that to an angel. I'm not ready for a gentleman, so I'm stuck with this kid.
"Kite Flying in the Sun"
A cat with a masculine kite stabs it over into our space and kills our owl kite. A beautiful shemale -- (the coffee is blasted from my mouth) -- it's my uncle! Now I cannot see the pitcher, i spit all over him.
Skrubbin my teeth with she-whiskey. Mohave women tattoo themselves to indicate marital status (like a she-bug glows).
"Christ Child Glowing"
catholic paintings supplement my cravings for church.
asian sexual idols. pot-belly overhangs on a she-buddha. fangs baring. i wish that was the religion i craved -- wait, i guess i do. oh baby i am turning red from head to bed
"Green and Purple Grapes"
They are pink, black-purple, pink, white blue-green, lavender-white. hints of red in the shadows. yellow-green.
This painting here -- thomas hudson, 'the radcliffe family' -- looks like -- makes me feel like i just stood up and cursed, and everyone heard the sound but have not realized the word. they have red noses.
Walking barefoot through the night, against the cold streets of denver -- surprised how clean the streets are (I woke up with blisters). down 16th street past the hotdog stand. Joey orders a hot dog and eats the whole thing before I can even ask for a bite. Black Foot, that is my name.
Louisa is a very good candidate for suicide. She's got two deep lines between her eyebrows and she's only 22. be careful with her, don't you recognize it? maybe you've got it good and you can't recognize depression in other people. or maybe you're too wrapped around your self hatred (i can see it in you, and i wish i could take it away.)
Louisa, she takes too much care of people. Her skin is made of electricity. She dresses like a sailor boy. Bold striped shirt, highwaters, boating shoes, a blue scarf bowtie. This bitch is confusing herself. She is so kind to foreigners, doesn't matter the origin of the accent. she understands it. she's like a psychic or something. mother mary, a lover and helper of mankind.
Boys, run away! She is proud. Don't have that sexual energy anymore. Look up and down at a fat paramedic (mine eyes don't want it). Look at a thin man wearing business attire and looking determined. Wonder when's the last time he cried and what for. Wonder if he ever wanted to die. Walks back to his car with a good-day look, looks happy at the laughter of seated girls.
Turn my palm to the sun, feels warm like a lamp. Wonder if this is really it for humanity. Its too hot for january. and at the end of everything i've forgotten what its like to love. a god damn shame to be too smart for it.
"Gang of Lavender Knitted Scarves from our Grandmothers"
Remember us when you get famous they say, pulling tight my scarf to gag me.
19 Jan 09
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I read this hoping for a mention of grunge music (one of my favourite past times). Lively write as always... couldnt you fire Cobain some where in there?
Ive been studying cobain
my parents are young enough to have been a part of the mtv grunge scene. i am sure i heard it in the womb. cobain was a very beautiful and sensitive man. i have recently been studying his writings. i am wondering why i didn't know him very well until recently
Looking at the timeline of rock/pop music culture, Radiohead branched off from Nirvana, in that they were influenced, inspired by (but you probably know this already). IF you have'nt already, you should give Nirvana a listen to. In Utero, aptly, was their best work for me, Bleach is'nt too far behind.
poetic surrealism crashes head to feet to make reality complete in this extraordinaire quietly contrary musical history, er, herstory -- a visual treat
this is very good adult contemporary country writing, and speaks directly to the disenchanted and disenfranchised suburbanite children of failed yuppie parents. ther are lots of good images in this, but not enough about cars. but, there's some rad sexy talk about mothers without children and he uses the word 'bitch', which is cool to say when you have to read it out loud in class.