|The Making of Gynoid
the arcane ellipse
i take to place
this kiss on your
egyptian veils over
revealing Dali thighs
and Waterhouse hips
heaving under van
you let me in
18 Feb 09
Rated 7.7 (7.9) by 5 users.
Active (5): 8
Inactive (12): 1, 1, 2, 5, 7, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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(5 more poems by this author)
(3 users consider this poem a favorite)
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I enjoyed how arcane moved to quantum, and every reference/image in between led smoothly to the next. It was like walking into a small room, the wall plastered with photos and paintings.
^mongrol^ is both critic and author of its poems
cyborg and guyannoyed
correction, gonad,gowned,gunned,grind,gone in,gunnies,gunny,franklin.
This is beautifully subversive. Every line spoke to me, even though it is something quite outside of my experience. That is a talent I envy.
Flawless, I say.
It does read very nice. Especially the rythem of the first stanza, for me though the second makes the poem end quite abruptly: perhaps ithe second could be longer to compliment the feel of the first> i want more!
Response: Gratitude: Variable Set.
Thank you for your readings.. I have no words to continue this Syro :) but thank you for enjoying it so much
Your pleasure at reading this Haxx has increased my own pleasure of it too :)
back to normal :)
thanks for the read guys..
don't be jealous, though, it doesn't suit you :)
the above post was by clmt who also rated this with a 1.
very smooth rhyming. it's so subtle i almost didn't notice it. it just helped the poem flow along.
love this. 8 and fave
appreciate your perceptive reading mould_jesus ;)
No Kenny - CLMT is rating this 1, Kenny is a fake account for 'CLMT'... who writes godawful poetry.. no wonder you are ashamed to show your face here again under that login ;)
Your comments are ignored Steele :)
thanks for the bump, asswipe ;)
if I give you a 10
which I will
which I am
will you kiss me?
What a surprise all this wonderful composition, marvelous !!!! to the Carole Waterhouse hips... an a one an a two... every line was full of thoughtful schemes... I am glad "you let me in" thanks for your genius... j.g. smiles
I thought that I had already read and critiqued this, but it is marvelous anyway. L8-11, very creative and descriptive--the whole poem for that matter. Nice work.
Manray and Dali, and Giger (as in the original Alien drawings?) a fellow surrealist and poet! A 10 yes
yes, H.R Giger, the creator of the 'Alien', and much more besides!
and thank you.