poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Dreaming of Flight

Once upon a while I can fly;
not too far, one hop, step at a time, and then  jump
away from my front door,
barely achieving float beyond the porch.
Coated as I am in flesh,
pressed by gravity towards feats of clay,
I consider an achievement remains
leaping in a state of perspiration,
while dodging pouring rain, wondering whether
i'll regain Acacia Avenue,
to land back on my well worn terrain

12 Mar 09

Rated 1 (6) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 1, 8, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(947 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


nice, Larry. very nice.

i especially like the space between the last two words of line two, being a fan of your slight manipulations of conventions.

like the internal rhythm. works well here, especially around the last few lines.
 — listen

Thanks listen

I always like to give a poem space to breathe

Larry breathless lark
 — larrylark

Love this! I have experienced the reality of flying , or thought i have, but it turns out I'm generally asleep at the time. Today I am weighted in mud, nowhere near flying. regards ani
 — crimsonkiss

Thanks ani

In my dreams i fly everywhere and when i wake up i am amazed that i am still sleeping.

Larry half awake Lark
 — larrylark

Love it, as usual you put humour into it and put out a really well written poem, love L5&6. One suggestion for L2 - period after far "I hop, one step at a time" instead, as the reader sorta falls over your hop where it commas into a step!
 — angrychick

I love to fly in my sleep, it's my favourite dream.
 — angrychick

Thanks for your comments angry chick, I always look forward to hearing from you

Larry across the sea Lark
 — larrylark