| weak light
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peoplescareT
| Starlight cant be felt | 1 |
and illuminates | 2 |
no truth | 3 |
except one | 4 |
I cant touch | 5 |
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So I stare at my feet | 6 |
and perceive beauty | 7 |
as far | 8 |
as I can see | 9 |
feel something special | 10 |
only when it comes | 11 |
to find me | 12 |
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Had to write but feel a bit blocked and out of touch. Would appreciate any help. |
3 Apr 09 |
Rated 9 (8.5) by 1 users.
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Comments:
the second stanza makes this.
perhaps tweaks in the first would strengthen that portion:
starlight illusory
illuminates no truth
but one I can't touch
idk take it the way you want.
but i LOVE that second stanza.
— 1994
ha! haiku alert!
stars illusory
revealing no truth
but one i can't touch.
— 1994
thank you, you sappy softy=)
— peoplescareT
i like this. the feeling of not being inspired is actually inspiring in this poem. and great title as well.
maybe would just delete the footnote. or incorporate it into the poem. but i find the use of "cant" to be quite effective here, the sort of self doubt one can feel about one's work, doubt that prevents someone from adding the '.
keep writing, of course.
— listen
I really like this--especially the second stanza. You might want to put an apostrophe in "can't" though--just my opinoin of course :)
— PaulS
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