poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Unknown Entity
PaulS

How do I get to know you?
 1
How can I be blessed  
 2
with the knowledge
 3
of your superior writing skills
 4
if you persist on remaining anonymous?
 5
 
 
I am poorly educated
 6
and profoundly illiterate—
 7
lost in the fire of the great starr.
 8
I beg of you to show me the light—
 9
spark my world with metaphor,
 10
alliteration and rhythmic verse.
 11
 
 
I feel a great education is
 12
waiting in the wings,
 13
if only I could gaze upon your
 14
visionary words, your masterful
 15
grasp of the English language.
 16
 
 
But alas! I see by your comments
 17
that I am unworthy of such a gift
 18
and for me you shall forever remain,
 19
unknown, unknown, unknown....
 20

14 May 09

Rated 9.5 (7.1) by 6 users.
Active (6): 9, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (5): 1, 1, 2, 3, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(38 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

You sound like the great anonymous poet i never had the pleasure to have known.

Larry minor anonymous poet Lark
 — larrylark

Very well written PaulS.  To me, this is one of the best of your many pieces I have read, one of the best on this site really.  the whole poem is beautiful, but the last stanza is brilliant--very touching work, poet.
 — unknown

Interesting poem... an ode to the unknown... nice write...
 — JKWeb

Yeah and I'll just look PaulS up in the phonebook should I?
 — unknown

it's so great to see good writers get focused through their anger and edge up their writing. it shows the range of the writer in a way that writing soothing poems and postcard poems cannot. the strong voice in this works well, and the maturity of the author -- the evident ability to keep things in focus and still maintain an ironic distance -- i mean an 'irony' which doesn't seem like a twenty-something's 'smug' connects the words in this into a complete word image.

nice writing, nice attempt to find a form too.
 — trashpoodle

I keep trying to find something to nit pick in this, but for the life of me I can't.  I like the little "aside" of line 8 and the last stanza is absolutely perfect.  A great write with a great title.
 — unknown

On the long and lonely road, for me you shall always remain Paul S the Poet Laureate...
i can not be on the same line... so i take the second... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

And how could i forget... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

A well written and powerful poem.  This is a great example of the fact that you don't need thousand dollar words to write good poetry.
 — unknown

Thanks for the read larrylark.  JK, its not an ode, and its not about all unknowns, just one in particular, but thanks for the read and comment.
 — PaulS

Mike, thanks for your comment, it means alot to me.  Yes, I was very focused with this piece.  
 — PaulS

Unknown, try writing a comment of your own instead of cutting and pasting comments that I left on other poets' poems.
 — PaulS

Thank you for the sentiment but please goeszon, do not put yourself below me in status--I am no poet laureate--just a simple guy trying to improve his writing skills.
 — PaulS

Ain't THIS da TRUTH?!  LOL!  Very, very cleverly written, Paul!
 — unknown

That's me up there, Paul.  I fogot to sign in.  ^  :-)
 — starr

Hey starr, thanks for stopping by :)
 — PaulS

hah -- works as a rap-attack in a shoot-out kinda way in how you take the ire 'n fire it back their way -- we are learners and many, not all, unk's take their grimey magnifying glass, focus it on our poem, and burn it 'til it puffs smoke like an ant on hot summer side-walks -- well, these are the things we learn when we put our stuff out their -- some critiques are meant to maim, gush blood, a viscious diversion 'cause they can't write, others like starr and poodle's noodles can uncover the de-light in your poem with a few deft tricks of the pen -- nevertheless a writer writes and never stops writing and rewrites and writes again and again ...  and we never stop writing, except to Dream, perhaps to reach for that Star in that Star crowded Sky, and bring that Star to the end of our Pen, and write like plasma all over again ... love the sentiment PaulS
 — AlchemiA

unknown crap; you can't even spell
 — unknown

Enlighten me, unknown, as to what is misspelled.
 — PaulS

I see; another unknown shooting blanks.
 — PaulS

I came, I read, I enjoyed .. you have a good strong voice in your writing Paul ..
 — Feminoid

welcome to the Top rated where the one-gunner troll-gnome shoots your poem with a one 'cause they're inchoate in the hemispheres of the heart
 — AlchemiA

ahh now they gave a 2 to you 'cause the one made you top so the 2 is the mathematical cut-down
 — AlchemiA

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  This is the thing that helps me stay, the wit, the irony, the cold anger and the ability to rise above through words.  Our talent can be used in so many ways, yes?  I love angry poems, when we see another of the multi-facets of one of our poets.  You didn't even need to drop an F-bomb to get your point across, sign of a mature writer.  Good job.
 — Isabelle5

Yup, its the same non-entity that imbues his wit of 1's on mine too ;)

It's only his jealous hate that fires up his engine for the day ahead..
 — Feminoid

Very well written.  I love the imagery in this piece.
 — unknown

This is superbly written, Paul.  I love the melancholic feeling projected in this by the fine imagery used throughout the poem.  The last stanza really brings this feeling home.  Very nice.
 — unknown

Just curious if people are taking this seriously.  The 'melancholic' in the last comment makes me wonder.  
 — Isabelle5

it is unknown.. and may well remain so, Isa ;)
 — Feminoid

Isabelle and Feminoid:  The above unknown has been copying comments I left on other poets' work and pasting them on this one--can't speak for themselves I guess.
 — PaulS

You're right Alch--the one-gunner troll-gnomes seem to be out in force of late.
 — PaulS

Hey, Paul, be happy that the Gnomes of 1 have found you, it means that your poetry has been noticed and it worries some, they are afraid their own favorites will be deposed.  It does not mean a thing to the poets who take the words seriously and who have the grit to give real opinons, which is most of us!  
 — Isabelle5

Thanks Isabelle, what you say is true and I've been here long enough to understand the idiosyncrasies of Poetry Critical.
 — PaulS

ha! ha! ha!. Nice.
 — unknown

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

what spelling error, o troll unknown?
 — unknown

our dear little mortroll can't point out the spelling error. poor little thing.
 — unknown

"that's the least of the problems this 'poem' suffers"

once again you declare this is not a 'poem', as indicated clearly by the use of the ' ' quotation marks of disbelief put either side of this poem, yet you once again have no ability to explain why this is not a poem.

considering you have an obvious limited knowledge of and apply a very narrow format for what you think is poetry, we really couldn't take your opinion as a formal and global definition of what is not and what is poetry.
 — unknown

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