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Indian Production Model

Up in the dark room
miles of petroleum reports were held to the light.
Much gas was expended on production streamlining,
new designs, and how to sell to India.
“Nearly one billion poor souls wearing out their feet.”
The possibilities were seen as endless.
Soon they got pumped up and roaring.
“We can and will do it.” someone screamed,
while far away in Jaipur, a small boy vroom vroomed
though his dreams, watching his own exhaust lured
towards the coast, with bucket and spade attached to the rear.

15 May 09

Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
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Great work here, 8/10, the juxtaposition of an economic reality against a child's vision leaves a lot of talking room, and the trick is putting it just right.

9 is my favorite line.

The last 5 lines are all middle stopped, it kinda feels like a run on sentence I think.
 — technomancer

nice poem, larrylark.

were you in delhi too? should have said! :)

vrooming through dreams varun.
 — unknown

Hi technomancer

I too was not sure about the punctuation at the end but i think more full stops might have interrupted the dream like flow of the little boys sleep
 — larrylark

I am frequently in my deli verun for i am a bit of a gourmet when it comes to chile pigs tritters sauted in sour marmalade with a dash of Gentlemans Relish and tourniquet potatoes. I'll look out for you next time I''m in there. By the way, just so you don't miss me I'll be wearing a bright pink revolving bow tie which plays God Save The Queens backwards.

Larry foodster Lark
 — larrylark

can you bring me one of those when you do come? i love pink bow ties that sing songs backwards.
good day to you sir.
 — unknown

dear unknown

your wish is my command

Larry pink bowed and tongue tied Lark
 — larrylark