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Little Brothers Maiden Flight

I first learned to fly in the front parlour
of my grandmothers home, while father baffled himself
faffing with my Air Fix model of a fighter plane.
“Glue the gun to the turret, then chocks away.”
I could see them down below,
mum’s stiff perm, fathers thinning locks
revealed his shiny pate.
Grandad’s socks steaming in the grate.
“Hym glard hi lerft my mhortley corew  berhind today.”
I laughed to no one, speaking in my clipped military moustache sort of way.
Dodging the lamp shade, scrutinising stains on wall paper border,
while the stench of neck end of lamb and putrefied peas,
wafted  up clouds of steam that enhanced my play.
“Bandits at four o clock!”
too late, couldn’t swerve, cockpit jammed,
lost my nerve, down I slammed.
How I hate my little brother,
his demon eyes that now fly about all over the place.

faffing -like footling and fiddling about is a popular  Lancashire term for farting about to no great effect.

Hym glard hi lerft my mhotely corew berhind today -Made up RAF speak for"I'm glad i left my motley crew behind today."

Bandits-little men with beady eyes hid behind bandanas and sporting silver handled pistols who wore chaps and eye liner while chasing after the Wells Fargo

Well Fargo. a famous opera singer from Kentucky who died of dust on the throat

Neck end of lamb and putrified peas-a disgusting concoction consumed by the lower orders on Bank Holidays in the mill towns of Lancashire

Lancashire-a place where it rains forever

Cock pit- a place where old cocks are thrown

grate-people who are truly wonderful like me.  

26 May 09

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