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Race For Life
larrylark

Most have come to the end.
 1
A shrill tannoy voice calls them in.
 2
They seem towed by pink ribbon,
 3
along flat paths shaped between trees.
 4
 
 
Some lean forward, some lean back,
 5
or to one side, steely determination
 6
shines from their eyes.
 7
New aquaintances are struck,
 8
some old ones renewed, while a few
 9
do not have a clue as to why or where they are.
 10
 
 
One or two cry, remembering  lost stars.
 11
A small boy joins the curling queue,
 12
stalled at the back, for want of nothing else to do,
 13
 
 
while in a faraway room an emaciated man
 14
floats through yet another dream of another day,
 15
where he runs to escape what was eating him away,
 16
over and over again.
 17

26 Jun 09


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Comments:

the 3/4 reminds me of mastectomy and survivors
or battle losers thereof. is this about cancer deaths?
i might suggest changing the male sex words in this to female.
flat paths, seem between trees, side eyes, renewed few clue
etc etc et cetera
your rhyming is a treat to hear.
i told someone the other day that it is my belief
that words want to be rhymed.

nice poem.
 — chuckle_s

    Most have come to the end, some lean forward, some lean back, one or two cry,remembering lost stars, while in a far away room an emaciated man... floats. well... this is where he runs to escape, over and over again... i don't know what to say of this...J. G. Smiles... it is original
 — goeszon

Hi chuckles

thanks for taking the time ang giving me a few pointers which i shall be giving consideration to.

Larry humble Lark
 — larrylark

Hi goeszone

I wrote this while watching The race for life, a sponsored charity run in aid of cancer research

Larry
 — larrylark

great poem, Larry. love the very last stanza, particularly the last two lines.
 — listen

Hi listen

The secretary and her assistant where i work did a 5 kilometre race for life in aid of cancer research the week end week end before last and i sponsored them a tenner and while i was sat in the car afterwards, trying to remember which is the gear stick and which is the clutch and should the wind screen wipers have come on when i turned on the car radio i wtote this down instead of heading home and as i did there was a tap on the window and i saw someone standing there who i had lost touch with and arranged to go for a drink with them  next week. Chance and fate listen , do they guide our destinies.The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind

Larry to the max Lark
 — larrylark

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