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Plutonian
SarahMichele

wake.
 1
plutonian prince
 2
 
 
the maiden moon
 3
hangs herself...
 4
20° Sagittarius
 5
 
 
my eyes burn
 6
like the remnants
 7
of stars spit
 8
from a black hole
 9
 
 
no more
 10
a consolation.
 11
 
 
(constellation)
 12

21 Jul 09

Rated 6.4 (7) by 7 users.
Active (7): 10, 10, 10
Inactive (1): 1, 1, 1, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(6 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

a re-post. cuz i like the delete button so much.
 — SarahMichele

and Saturn returns to square your sun...
cool poem...though I wish there were more...
it's like hearing a song you like but it's only 2-1/2 minutes long
otherwise...nICE  :J
 — JKWeb

ah hah people have said that about my songs before, too ;)

many thanks, once again, JK.

...tell me more about the return of Saturn...
 — SarahMichele

one of the better poems on this site. this is complete.
 — raskolniikov

I agree--beautiful work.
 — PaulS

and with the return of Saturn, maybe it's not a huge deal this isn't longer,
at least you didn't waste words...you're sun is squared 10 fold :)
 — JKWeb

raskolniikov: a great compliment, and i'm pleased to see this made your favorites. Thanks.

PaulS: very glad you enjoyed this too and took the time to comment. Thanks.
 — SarahMichele

Once again... hit with two '1's' sans comment; typical of this site.  
 — SarahMichele

like the full stop in line 1
don't like ellipses

dont need "like the" in 7

hole could take its own line

try no full stop in 11
no parens in 12

cool. not yet scored.
 — noodleman

noodleman: this seems concise enough to me -- removing the bits you suggested would emaciate it. However, I am considering removing the full stop in line 11, per your suggestion. The parens in line 12 are essential, as it is a 'whisper' word sorta(afterthought)

comment is more important than rating. thank you.
 — SarahMichele

do you have any other poems?
 — raskolniikov

yes
 — unknown

wow.
thanks.

; )
 — fractalcore

fractal.. <3. thanks for the fave. :)
 — SarahMichele

R.I.P. Sarah... I miss you so much, I Havent been to this page since you left us... Today's my birthday;maybe come visit me in my dreams tonight...? love you always, your little sis.
 — unknown

dear Sarah's sister,
I'm extremely sorry for you loss.  She was an excellent poet and seemed like a very cool person.

Regards,
 — JKWeb

beautiful poem, beautiful poet.
the play on consolation/constellation is lovely

as you were, Sarah Michelle.
I pity those who were cruel to you.
 — lysandre

beautiful.

id think you could drop the parenthesis though?

F
 — unknown

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