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Rosemary Flowers Used to Bloom
faith

With hands on your heart,
 1
You leave; say goodbye.
 2
 
 
The sky black with fumes,
 3
stinks up my room.
 4
 
 
In my bedroom I lay
 5
weeping at ceilings.
 6
 
 
Tangled up my breath
 7
tears, nonetheless.
 8
 
 
The mind-set you sort,
 9
Gently, with care.
 10
 
 
With you life would be better,
 11
Goddamn; it isn't.
 12

28 Aug 09

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 10, 10

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Comments:

Great poem, sounds sad and personal but made for a great read loved it:)
 — Amanda23

I LOVE it as you take us thru these goodbye emotions, lay up in your bedroom , not fetal but looking up at ceilings , darken by the smoke of things... gently of course with care... then stamp down your foot, original, with hands on my heart, weeping, gently, at those god damned ceilings  and stinking rooms, with sky black it sounds, at no surprise... j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

Yes!
 — frugal

I love that in the poem, the subject is feeling the sorrow, but keeping their head about them.  You have, nearly, all the five stages of grief in this brief, but powerful piece of writing.  I like it.  Ends with a thump.
 — CervusWright

Love the ending, love the emotional landscape, well crafted. Very good to read.
 — crimsonkiss

Thank you all so much!!
(:
 — faith

Wow, way to surprise me :)
that ending is awesome.  nice poem!

beaut of a title too.

but hey, could you erase some of those messy appendages that are tickling this poem half to death?  ;)
 — Estella

awesomeness is here
 — psychofemale

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