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Incident At My Daughters Housewarming
larrylark

To grow old makes you a passenger;
 1
third class, detached as life flows through.
 2
Absurd words hold you in thrall,
 3
while your map of the world
 4
mounts to nothing at all.
 5
 
 
An eighteen year old child
 6
strolled brightly through the lie of my land,
 7
with gifts that hope brings clutched in his hand.
 8
He seemed ill matched to my wilderness.
 9
How perverse, well rehearsed learning curves become.
 10
 
 
The old walk with the curse of rictus grins
 11
splitting glum faces.
 12
Each past a far away place, present and future
 13
not where they belong.
 14

23 Sep 09

Rated 9 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8
Inactive (1): 10, 10

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Comments:

    "I grieve for life's bright promise, just shown and then withdrawn."   W. C. Bryant
   j.g. smiles
 — goeszon

so do i goeson so do i

Larry right old bastard lark
 — larrylark

sniff sniff - I smell a english lark!  

I think the best part of this is lines 11-14!  Though I don't completely agree with the idea of old being passenger, I certainly do understand all of the poem!
 — Isabelle5

Hi Isabelle
say you don't mind you don't mind you'll let me off this time a this time a this time you'll let me off this time...which is the best version...Denny Laine or Colin Blunstone (Zombies). Thanks for reading. I was somewhat Jaundiced when i wrote it and probably still am.

Larry lawless inside Lark
 — unknown

Jaded, I understand!  It's hard to still be wide-eyed sometimes, isn't it?
 — Isabelle5

We all get alittle sour sometimes but life is so wondrous that it cannot last for long

Larry smiley happy person Lark
 — unknown

great poem, i love lines 6 & 7 in particular.
the first line is the only nit i have, and that could be that the first few words seems to set it up for something different, like a quote or something.  i know what i mean, i just don't know how to explain it other than to say the simple:
'growing old'
and lose 'into'.

ill-matched, might look better with the dash there.  just a thought.

another great sentimental snippit from my favourite 'only sour for a moment, lark'.
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

this is a bitch-slap at some victim -- it's not actually poetry, though it's borrowing the skin of poetry to pass as 'truth and sensitive' -- if it had been written out of some kind of direct intuition of language as the source of your opinions and sensations, then you might have wrote a poem, and a poem about what it is to not be what people think you are. instead, with this disguise, you're simply pushing the world away another notch.

stop trying to sound so high-toned.
 — trashpoodle

humm, i didn't know this was your writing, larry, so don't even go down that road. i thought it was some miser'd beginner afraid to sound like a beginner.

do you never read your poems out-loud before you post them -- so that you can see and hear how they're going to be seen and heard by us? or, is that the point: to keep us in our place?
 — trashpoodle

Dear TP Thanks for the high sounding arrogant tone. You made me laff out loud when i read the last sentence in your first comment. Are you just a phony hypocrit trying to sound like a cross between a critic and a member of the royal family or have you really no idea at all about how irriting the tone of what you wish to convey comes across. I look forward always to your well seasoned abuse and marvel at how you use your time so productively

Larry  
 — larrylark

I've always enjoyed your almost 'casual' creativity max, inspires for me, definitely not absurd.

Hope all is well with the family

Pip :0)
 — unknown

Hi Pip

Long time no speak. Everything is fine and dandy in the world of Lark and i hope that life finds you the same

Larry great expectations Lark
 — larrylark

lines four and five are funny.

this has your charm. thank you for that.
 — listen

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