you could have almost just written 1 thru 4 and had a beautiful piece which 1 thru 4 was etc... 5 thru 8 was something else i don't know why you didn't keep with the original flow of words in other words it started well, very nice but ended up something different... j.g. smiles — goeszon
because the first four lines only introduce.
they don't explain.
the first four lines might be a nice little poem.
but who's after nice little poems? — hank
You could end at line 4 and have a complete and lovely poem. Having raked a peck of pickled pines, I can relate to this! — Isabelle5
Ah, now I see why you feel the need to explain. Still cute. — Isabelle5
the first stanza doesn't explain why i'm writing the poem — hank