|Half Empty - for jen from isabelle through me
sometimes the night bleeds,
like a robber harvesting cash
from the daysun.
like wheat as it turns
against the cold,
i imagine that it would
want a knitted beanie,
because sand is such
a meanie, pretending
which is why my palms
are coated in ash,
turning them black like storm
and why so dead you say,
i think it is only the
natural airs of someone
longing for the light,
perhaps a stained reminder
of this world and its
though sometimes when it
is warm i long for snow,
to steal me from this sun
shot scene, cover me in
white, like gloves
slowly knitting to the
27 Oct 09
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lovely DF -- shines in the melancholia of living like the dead in the warm glow of television -- yet caresses like a non-judgmental friend bending rigid fear into hugging arms - nice
Thanks for the spirit of poetry!
interesting how you've titled this, and how i am able to feel the vibes between both of you. those last lines are so isabelle, yet cold wheat with knitted beanies is most adorably you.
i like your poem.
thank you linus
Is this your new hit single? I LOVE it! I'm sure the girlz do too! xoxo, D.L.!
Y'know what makes this so special? How you channel Isabelle to Jen through your OWN muse! LOL! I'd be afraid to channel Isabelle, cuz I might start wigglin' when I walk or sumpthin'! Then again, if I channelled Jen, I'd be a better poet! If I channelled YOU, though, I'd bite people! GRRRRR!!! Your usual great work! :-)
Well, Starr, thanks for saying I wiggle and Jen can write! GRRRRR indeed! haha Has anyone ever read my original, the one that sparked this?
LOL! U caught that! Never seen it (I don't believe.) What's it called? :-O
It's called Looking Glass - for Jennifer J. Of course I caught it!!! I'm a writer but I do know how to read, too!
Very melancholic and evocative... don't dig the second stanzas so much, but the two stanzas after that are amazing, as is the last one. I also like "perhaps a stained reminder/of this world and its/understated charms".
Half-empty? Like your head? Half of the deformed funk known as you brain which was transplanted to your rear? Double the patronage hey?
"sometimes the night bleeds"
: I don't even want to touch this one...those are the words the Dr. said when he saw your buggered -insert orifice here-
"and why so dead you say"
: To be fair he was your 10th customer of the night
"perhaps a stained reminder"
...you hoped it was club soda
"shot scene, cover me in white"....
...well that is your money shot...
Freud would be all over this like the zebras over your transplanted pliant pooper
your an old sosasofty asshole.
you held it down together right
till the very end.
I like to see the cream of woman rising to the top,
again and again. a ten. for jen.
Nicely done--a fine tribute to feloow poets.
Still spinning on the intro. Nicely laid, though.
"I imagine that it would want a knitted beanie..."- light and funny and I'm all smiles.
why anyone would write something dedicated to isabelle5 is beyond me.
just to be clear- this is most definetely not dedicated to isabelle.
but she does have a place in its story.
this was nice to read again, brought back some shitty memories.
Omg another one, tlking about "the light"
Luckily the work is recent seemingly until the misplaced weather phrases that made me gag.
Is warm, is cold.., so .....titulating
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