poetry critical

online poetry workshop



dead body
hank

arms stretched wide
 1
we found a dead dude
 2
they look like they're old enough to know
 3
 
 
we threw a rock at it
 4
and then what happened?
 5
it made a really weird noise
 6

29 Oct 09

Rated 10 (6.3) by 1 users.
Active (1): 6
Inactive (2): 3, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(452 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Not a poem.  A youtube entry or something but not a poem.  Who is they in line 3?  A dead body is he or she, not they.

Shame on you for throwing a rock at it!  Too bad it didn't sit up and scare you to death!

I would like to know what you were attempting here.  It's not working.
 — Isabelle5

HANK!  You make me crazy!
 — Isabelle5

Lols. I laughed when I read this.
I wouldn't qualify it as poetry just yet.
But I like the image. It has potential, I think.

I'm thinking the "we" in line 2 includes some children
that are "old enough to know" in line 3.

The dead body made a weird noise
and from the stall statement in line 5,
I'm thinking the "dead dude" isn't dead
for him to make a "really weird noise".
 — leroyle

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