poetry critical

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After Visiting

Knotted deep veined hand appears through venetian blind.
Dimming eyes peer across garden searching signs.
Gloom gathers in silence among the first waves of night.
I switch on the light in the car so he can see that i wave good bye.
I am an indifferent son with many devices to show otherwise.

28 Dec 09

Rated 10 (9.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 9, 10

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i wish i had read the poem without seeing the title first to make me think while reading. not knowing what you are referring to adds mystery to the poem. nonetheless, nicely done.
 — shimmy1x

You are right about the title as the last line of the poem gives that information. Thanks for the assist.
 — unknown

Thanks shimmy
 — larrylark

nice one
 — psychofemale