|The Heart of a Spider
Such polite little fingers.
And eight eyes - enough to carry her worries,
And reflect yours.
Pearls of dew on a veil, mimicking the night.
She is listening,
Trembling at whispers on the breeze -
A heart of love, so delicate.
31 Dec 09
Rated 6.8 (8.2) by 8 users.
Inactive (5): 1, 1, 1, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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the lesser known poets of this site should step forward more. This author
has more talent than the Monopolizers. And THEY know who they are:
wicked witch of the west, freckle-faced mess and the grand old fart who makes no sense.
Don't get me wrong, I like this poem, it is filled with some nice images, but I have a hard time associating spiders and love. If it were me, I would put a dash after "breeze" and change the last line to "a heart so delicate. Just my opinion of course.
well, paul, really, it's a very complicated poem, and love is only part of the matrix -- the want of emotion is where this one sits, and it's 'ironic' and only meant to tickle a very surface patch of skin on the reader's arm. it's not a deep poem but it's worded to be remembered. it's not a well-worded poem, but the author's got it right: keeping the image of spider and wording the world from spider's fingers -- that's the important thing: that it feels like 'spider'.
Paul, a spider is harmless if you are respectful. It's not going to squish you or ravage your home.
I agree, it is more difficult to love something so complicated and feared. But..I fall most in love with the things I once feared.
And bmike, you're right. I sought the irony of how victimized by disregard the spider is - just like anyone who has been misunderstood or brushed off with thoughtlessness.
I like your suggestions Paul - thank you.
You are welcome, Infrangible. I have no fear of spiders and a number of my own poems are written with respect to creatures of the wild. I do like the change you made and have favorited.
I like this poem, appreciating the little things in life that mean so much. The heart of love could very well be in the viewer. Very nice
Is this more Emily Dickinson, or Kahlil Gibran?
Niether--this is pure Infrangible.
yes, it's not like dickenson at all -- even thinking that someone writing on a similar topic is to say that that's the writer is 'infantile'. it's like saying that a film of who's it the tank engine is identical to 'run away train'. both may be lamer, but both are lamer in their own way and to their own ends. what we need in a critique is talk about whether or not they succeeded in their own terms. like, this isn't anything like dickenson or gibran, but it is out of some poetry consciousness. the critic swims in that sea, not in the bubble-bathtub of 'tell me a story'.
jammed into the vibration, spinner, spins her, then drinks slowly
ignore the idiot bauer
If you're a gnat.
i like the melancholy of this
it suits the spider on the one hand.. afterall all it does is to spin its web and listen and wait.. what a creature, living in such palaces of web and dew drops.. so clumsy, so predictable, yet so deadly.
always found them very interesting creatures.
Cool poem. I like the contrast of something so "menacing" and love. It's like starting a song with a classical guitar melody and finishing with bombastic death metal. You've weaved a nice write for sure.
...or starting with death metal and ending with classical guitar melody :)
I don't know any of the poets on this site.