poetry critical : poem

where midnight sings hymns

will you grasp the memory of my voice	1
when I'm gone	2
the echoes of words I plucked for you from out of tune guitars	3
will you lift up this world with me	4
as it spins in the wrong direction	5
touch my neck by the old creek	6
let it's water baptize us	7
and wash away the caked on dirt of everything that seperates us	8
the sun hasn't risen in my stony eyes	9
since I watched you tip toe along the coastline	10
when palm trees whispered your name	11
capture the shine from your tan for me	12
let me take it into this winter	13
where I will see you only in the delicacy of a snowflake	14
some black wind is lifting me where I can no longer dream	15
I will be on my knees	16
where midnight sings hymns	17
watching branches wave at heaven	18
I will lift up my skeletal arms with them	19

8 Feb 10

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kymberley

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Comments:

We've got a decent enough start here to keep me reading for another couple of lines:

will you grasp the memory of my voice/when I'm gone

But then I get here, and things begin to spin out of control:

the echoes of words I plucked for you from out of tune guitars

Sounds poetic, but what does it really mean?

Then we get to this:

will you lift up this world with me/as it spins in the wrong direction

I've got to stop there. What the heck does that mean? Which one of you is Atlas hoisting the world to shoulder -- while it continues to spin no less?

You're reaching too hard for the poetical meaning, and not reading this for sense.
— Bloodfetish

I'm sorry you didn't get this one Bloodfetish.Thanks for making it a favorite kymberley.
— danflore

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