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An Awakening
PaulS

A fist of light punches
 1
through brittle clouds,
 2
grasping snow-laden trees
 3
with fingers of gold,
 4
lifting the fog from my eyes—
 5
 
 
time collapses in the genesis
 6
of a new winter morning.
 7

2 Mar 10

Rated 10 (9) by 3 users.
Active (3): 1, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (22): 3, 5, 7, 7, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

this is lovely!  minimal and stark, but powerful and i love the use of the word "genesis"...connotes multiple meanings to me in this piece.......
 — Tandisol

Thanks for the wonderful comment Tandisol.
 — PaulS

you are welcome :)
 — Tandisol

This is brilliant!!
 — mandolyn

quite lovely!
 — jpmhawk

Nice picture with the feeling of the power of light punching it's way in to divide the darkness from itself and time stands still. Good write
 — JohnW

Thank you mandolyn, jpmhawk and JohnW for reading and commenting--much appreciated.
 — PaulS

Nice lil' write.  All seven lines but am especially diggin' lines 6-7.  Good one!
 — JKWeb

Very cool! Good morning! A 10
 — BxPR

Very sweet poem. It could be followed by The Beatles' "Good Morning"!
 — frugal

More amazing work by PaulS... I could drink a case of you and still be standing up... we are not on a lonely road reading your stuff Poet Paul... one of New England's best... grace is on your side... keep us on the receiving end... j.g. smiles... with a new winter morning each day
 — ambiguos

Poems are like tattoos... some are not seen... yours with colors grace these pages... where thoughts will last forever in the airwaves of time... here Paul is a sea shell for you... what do you hear?... kudos in your ear... J.G. Smiles
 — goeszon

i really love the image "a fist of light"...great writing..
 — brother_sun

Couple of thing, when I first read it I thought it was a fist of light punches, i.e. a light battering, not the actual act of breakin the surface, that made it hard to get onboard at first. Its short adn sweet and to the point all of which I like, but it seems you too a bunch of " poetic" words and threough them in. " fingers of gold" brittle clouds" grasping snow laden trees" all very good but all very typical.
I do love the use of the word genisis, nothing typical or common there.
 — Solstice

JK, BxPr, frugal, ambiguous, goeszon, brother_sun and Solstice, thanks for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it very much.
 — PaulS

too be honest about my previous post, the only reason those thing stood out too me is I just got done that night reading a bunch of poems and the last batch I read used golden and laiden. So I take that comment back : ) the first line still throws me off though.
 — Solstice

I enjoyed it.
 — oakspringer

good stuff dude. concise and effective
 — nemissk8

we're often myopic about memento-mori, the end of our story, that last-gasp of surrendering, diving infinitely-in, an unending-ending bending toward the limitless sky --

yet, we see the poet-tree gnarled and askew reaching with its bony-finger to that cloudy-whirl, white on blue, all the while curling-roots around the stones of earth, made of muddy star-dust come of its birth, sipping nameless-elements of course ... yes, it lurches in the wind making leaf-song whimper for the climb, with a whine of being locked in Sun drenched dirt, the blood of longing serpents-up its trunk, yes, from deeper turnings where these roots have sunk

nice crystal-imagism making reflections PaulS
 — AlchemiA

Thanks for your interest, oakspringer and nemissk8.  Alc:  thanks for the marvelous comment.
 — PaulS

Lovely, powerful imagery--"fist of light" is brilliant.
 — sybarite

nice!
i like it, so beautiful :)
 — liveon_on

That first verse is one of the most creative I've ever seen about the sky.

There is nothing to change here, it's small and perfect.  What a lucky poet to have had the time and eyes to watch this and know what you saw.
 — Isabelle5

Thank you Isabelle.  That is one of the kindest comments I've ever recieved :)
 — PaulS

Enjoyed this much. The only criticism ( and it is only a small thing) I could give would be that the title, while I love it, seems a bit redundant, given the last line. We already see in your writing that this experience has awakened you, so maybe give us something more with the title...

But, that is just my opinion. Otherwise, good work!
 — duffyj83

Thanks for the comment, duffyj83, it's much appeciated.  Not so sure I want to change the title though.
 — PaulS

this is quirky and fantastic.
 — radiogirl

pretty
 — chumble

Thanks for the comments, radiogirl and chumble and a belated thanks to sybarite and liveon_on, sorry it took so long to aknowledge your comments.
 — PaulS

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 — dongbei

Really nice poem, I really appreciate this thanks.

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