Coming into this village
one could hear a baby crying,
as young boys jostled to be first
to touch the pink man,
reaching out to touch his blond
Standing over them with
compassion in his heart,
they looked up with eyes
that said their fathers were gone.
There were memories of dirty faces,
with teeth grinning like the
Cheshire Cat in Alice in
These were children of eight
and nine going on twenty.
I was a part of
a peace, in the clash of ideas.
Days without conflict were
made for play, with
marvelous hand made toys.
Anything round was chased
with a stick on hard dirt.
Beer cans were transformed into
hand held airplanes.
Small inventions and other things
were their simple toys.
Nights would bring them
a fear of peace or hell.
Many slept in holes,
others would sleep on the dirt.
Who would they snuggle with,
what were their dreams?
While waiting for the small
American war to end.
Mike Hendershot 2010
9 Mar 10
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Take the question mark and put it at the end, because the last two lines, punctuated as they are, constitute a fragment.
Otherwise, very clear, I like this visual form-- I don't have any real criticisms content-wise, a very solid poem.
Intriguing poem. Though the repeat of 'eyes' in close proximity of each other (1st and 2nd strophes) threw me a bit while reading. Maybe you could change 'blue eyes' in line 4 to 'the baby blues' or something like that. Otherwise, nice write and thanks for sharing your 67 memoirs.
Thank you JKWeb and Andy/L for your editorial input... I guess the rest slide by... I have changed my format to stimulate the brian and eyes and break it up .... j.g. smiles
Another "classic!" - Very, very touching and disturbing, to say the least. Starr smiles@goeszon. :-)
another poignant snapshot of your experience to bring us one step closer to understanding........thanks!
Mike, this is great! I would'nt change a thing--your voice rings loud, clear and true to your heart.
the formatting makes it better as a way to read the messages in your bottle or behind that J.G.Smiles - all teeth and disappeared behind that smile are painful poignant memories
Tandisol...It is a pleasure to bring you around the mountain with me one step at a time , careful step... thank you for the continued interest in this saga-67, digging up memories aren't hard... Castrated Hearts PTSD... Amazon Books will bring you my friend one step even closer to what it is to walk the walk in my heart and mind... j.g. smiles
PaulS we are all waiting for your next piece of marvelous work... thank you for encouraging me here... true to my heart as each week I stumble to show something of those years 66, 67, 68 in-country... to hear "great" from a workhorse like yourself is an honor... j.g. smiles
AlchemiA... your comments everywhere amaze me, I am sure you realize that as you build up instead of tear down...I will continue with this format since it works for me an it seems to stimulate the eyes and therefore the brains of us all... thanks of course for your words and support...
Yeah, cute kids full of wonder and playfulness, trying to cowboy your shit disk. All grown up now, I wonder how they remember us.
W o w.
JohnW... On my visit North in 2007 I did not meet too many men my age the heavy duty soldiers of our time live fucked up lives for the most part, on small pensions and no medical help, they have very bad problems and no drugs to treat them... their families just take care of them, those that are left, like us they have died off early and we are dying too, you can just imagine the ones that made it back and what their lives were? j.g. smiles
JohnW thanks for your continued support of brothers-in-arms and your always welcome here...
Mandolyn... children are a fact of war and fend for themselves for the most part, scrounging whatever they can, you think you tears are easy now, if you had been there then you would have to had been somewhat hardened to the whole thing or you would get crazier... j.g. smiles
You forgot ME!!!! I'm crushed, Mike! :-(
Sorry Starr, what did you think... besides being hurt, I promise to never forget you again... that is, if your not fooling me ha... j.g. smiles
interesting perspective, nicely written.
Manuka... Thank you for your comments, these comments are inspiring and up lifting for a Sunday morning... J.G. Smiles
P/F Flyer singing lady Fabulous ... j.g. smiles