poetry critical

online poetry workshop



electric hums and diesel hymns
hank

chimes reiterate in tune the consistent breeze
 1
little amphibians chirp the first time this year
 2
quiet now save for the snore of a sleeping world
 3
 
 
tidal wave of sun and debris is three hours away
 4
water with chrome and sugar with glass
 5

22 Mar 10

Rated 9 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (1): 8, 10, 10

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Comments:

ha! diesel hymns- that is great.

I like all of this.
:)
 — mandolyn

thanks man.
 — hank

nice poem
hank
 — varun

thanks varun. what's been up?
 — hank

milkman's diesel truck in the countryside of the interbellum
something like that? cider with rosie?
good poem
are you well?
 — stout

yes, well. ish. corn. cornish.
 — hank

much. actually. lots of films. and other things.

you're all pastied up in cornland... good to hear you're wellish.
 — varun

in wales.
 — hank

this is quick, mysterious, and etheric if that makes sense to you. I enjoyed it. the type of poem you have to reread a few times. what do you think about "quiet now save for the sleeping world's snore" on L3? I feel like there should be a few more lines, but thats just my opinion.
 — ShelbyS

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