poetry critical

online poetry workshop

foot in my mouth

I did it again
said something I shouldn't have
and now
it's got me in a heap of trouble...
I admit it though.
I was talking trash
and was taking the garbage
outside of the house
into the open...
How silly of me!
But it reeked! It really did.
I couldn't take it anymore.
the garbage man took it
and shared it
with all of his friends.

15 Apr 10

Rated 7 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(60 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


That it doesn't rhyme will add to its value right off the back! :)
We all have trash we air out and you cannot control what others think or do with it....
the up side?  the reeking trash has been removed and you no longer need to smell it!!
nicely done.
 — Tandisol

LOL! thank you very much! :)
 — psychofemale

wow u arent
 — unknown

Okay, are you talking or taking out the trash?  You confuse yourself in this so it's confusing to the reader, too.  I think you could work on this a bit to make a stronger connection of the trash mouth to the garbage.

You need to get rid of that footnote, it is annoying and adds nothing to the poem.
 — Isabelle5

Its about finding something horrible out and it bothering you so you spill it to someone in the  then everyone ends up knowing. the trash is suppose to be what it is the person found out
 — psychofemale

I'm sorry, I'm not finding this to be a poem.  More of a note to a friend but I can't find the poem.
 — Isabelle5

I think this is a poem that could be changed, make it rhyming and it would be very funny.

I couldn't keep the news inside,
I took it to the street.
I opened up my mouth so wide
that I could fit both feet.

Imagine my shock and surprise
to see the news next day
spread like garbage through the town

and guess who's going to pay???

Try to make it really sassy and fun, it would work better.
 — Isabelle5

thanks for the feedback, everyone was getting frustrated with my rhyming so I was trying something new.
 — psychofemale

hahaha!  You can't please all the people all the time, right?  Good old Abe!
 — Isabelle5

lol...you are right about that LOL
 — psychofemale

I do like your poem a lot better than mine :/
 — psychofemale

how silly of you yes
 — unknown

Huh??? :P
 — psychofemale

i like this very muchly.
 — brokenarrows

thank you :)
 — psychofemale