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twenty seconds
Rynne

twenty seconds
 1
tips of fingers tasted
 2
touched
 3
taking short repose
 4
inside
 5
his eyes don't meet hers
 6
and not once does he
 7
say her name
 8
in quiet appeal
 9
she whispers his
 10

16 Apr 10

Rated 9 (9.7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 9, 10, 10

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Comments:

oooh, this was a refreshing poem as of late.
my eyes traveled each line with suspense~
=)
 — mandolyn

great one!!!
 — psychofemale

Cool poem.  Though I feel it could use a bit of spacing.  Maybe 'and' in front of "touched" in line 3.  Maybe a space between lines 5 and 6 and lines 8 and 9.  All in all, nice lil' write.
 — JKWeb

I think much of intimacy is unrequited, certainly not as we expect or wish for. Good write.
 — JohnW

Nicely handled short write. I might tweak the sonics by taking away tasted in L2, and adding "such" around L4.
 — NicMichaels

The title is very effective.
 — NicMichaels

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