poetry critical

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September 1939

Wife up in Oxford,
cooked breakfast with fried bread,
eaten alone instead
of the usual Sunday atonement.
The others are at church.
Cat curled in wicker chair,
seats are empty,
room to spare;
spirit of house on holiday,
sunlit beams play
among the crackling static,
illuminating the fading acacia,
while futures are decided in absentia.
Stars still glimmer
in milky blue sky; mid-day
moon?Must confess,
i can't remember.
Fed bacon rind
to the cat, gave him half
my second egg, " Is this it?"
I said to no-one. Picked up hat
and coat. Left the house,
still holding
piece of toast.
The whole of England
lay unfurled, spread
beneath a glorious
start of September
day; from faraway,
a siren sounded.

23 Mar 04

Rated 9.5 (7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 9, 10
Inactive (20): 1, 2, 3, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

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(938 more poems by this author)

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Indeed, Poland. September 1, 1939.

well done.
 — unknown

Excellent. I feel like I am the person you're describing. I especially love the way you added the cat as a way of adding more character without concentrating too much just on the person. Also Line 29-30 at the end of the poem. It gives the poem a lot more feel of being at the start of the day and there is much to do. Once again outstanding.
 — JohnB

Excellent work, evocative, understated - the cat is a real addition. Atmosphere built with just enough detail.
 — opal

thank you to the three people who have commented on this piece.I have been trying to write about what it might have felt like for someone listening to Chamberlains speech for about five years ,all other versions torn up and thrown away.Your kind comments have made me feel glad that i persevered with this idea.

Larry Lark
 — larrylark

Best poem in the top ten.

Could use some sprucing up here and there, but it is honest, heartfelt and well conceived.
 — unknown

very cool
 — keikeila

wow...... this is really good. i wish i could write things like this. all mine have to have some purpose that relates to my life way too deeply. none of it is as simple and beautiful as this. it simply describes a scene. this is amazing. i love it. i'll give it a 10. excellent poem.

I liked the simple peace established by a fine choice of images
at the beginning.
The ending was extremely fine, heralding war with a siren's wail
very very well done.
 — unknown

lovely work, larry.
spare, sparse,
acacia and absentia
might be too clever
or i might be too dull.
 — noodleman

This is really good. I love it. (10)
 — blankpages

yeah, this is good. but I don't think it should be number 1 rated. Perhaaaaps 5?
 — unknown

Who knows what is behind the scenes?  A beautiful day like so many others--yet the origin of "hell" for the next 6 years.  Thank you.  The ending is like a trap--the unsuspecting reader anticipates one thing--and gets another--unless they know from the title what happened on September 1-3, 1939.  Perhaps a similar poem could be written about December 7, 1941.  Our complacent easy world, now topsy-turvy.  Thanks. Enjoyed reading.
 — RichardElam

I love the cats and the eating and the pork rind. What a comforting poem.
 — cvsantiago

Hardly comforting,rather a pre-sentiment of terrors to come .and of course attendant death
 — larrylark

totally ass!
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

If youre ass is to big why don't you cut down on alcohol and other sugary things then you won't be a big ass bastard after all,

Larry Triple silly burger lark
 — larrylark

the beat in this is so eccentric, and i like it a lot!!!  the setting seems to move along to the pattern in which the words are layed out.
 — sassybnyss

so, so good.
 — root

Dear Sassybynass

I write it as i feel it though i am trying to develope more technique and more control .Unfortunately i'm not vert disciplined

Larry wayward Lark
 — larrylark

What a marvelous way to show the common life of people about to change.  The simple sounding of a siren brought so much change to the world.  This is good, very good.
 — Isabelle5

the name is pronounced: sassy b. nyss.  thanks for trying.
 — sassybnyss

beautiful and amazing imagery, i felt like i was in the room with you. LOVE IT!
 — SweetPain

Dear Sweet Pain

as i have commented before ,i have for a long time had a deep interest in British society during the war when most things got dislocated and other things came to take the place of those old things ,either temporarily or permanantly. Being born in 1946 and now looking back to my childhood years i have started to unravel for example the effects of that war on my parents and how the conflict impacted on so many lives for so long after peace was declared and maybe why every thing was so weird in our house when i was a small helpless being.

Larry ARP Lark
 — opal

why why are you exaplaining this to me Larrly/Opal.
 — unknown

why why are you exaplaining this to me Larrly/Opal?
 — unknown

A random leap into this site brings up such wonder.
 — DianaTrees

Dear Larry/Opal unknown

You have got big beef and its too much of a sandwich for you.

Larry/Opal unknown
 — unknown

Dear Diana

Come on there are wars and there are poems and there are hauntings which is where i am.

Larry ghost of his own past Lark
 — unknown

Ugg boots re the mostly classical winter coats that everyone must have outfit in this  cold winter. tly classical that everyone must have outfit in http://www.uggbootsdan.com/.
 — asd2011

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