poetry critical

online poetry workshop

cadair idris to babylon

spend the night whyfore?
a madman or a poet?
no rewards that i would choose
when aliens are in orbit
cottage at the base rests solid
i trod this gizan plateau
sear my hands, nurture things
the onion valley of the kings
your left arm an offering mount
and my left foot asea
a hanging lake filled by fount
we've all dreamed to see

4 May 10

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'a madman or singing poet' -- that's the more usual formula for showing inspiration as Poet. lining up helping words makes this into a sentence, and a sentence is for proving something in an ad for deodorants.
 — bmikebauer

 — hank

it's not that brilliant. i'm surprised it's by you. are you doing best-sellers?
 — bmikebauer

yeah, to the first (it's not that good). wish i could to the second. rhyming, though it comes easy, doesn't lend itself.
 — hank

i thought you were into drinking, hank. it sucks, but if that's what you do then it can maybe help you get laid with poetry. it's about just letting go and not being afraid to sound fruity -- you'd be surprised at how wiggly the boys get when they're improvising away from the girls. there's a place for every kind of poetry.
 — bmikebauer

pretty good.
 — psychofemale

sounds like you're searching.
 — hank

bmike, i notice that you don't have very many poems of your own?
 — hank

there's what i've got here as trashpoodle and as my own. writing a poem isn't a joy, it's very traumatic for me. but, i do lite verse sometimes.

so, what are you concluding from this? that i'm less a poet than i ought to be, or a better one than some others? or, just commenting with nothing really in mind... i notice that this one of yours has more words than you often give. i don't know what that means though.
 — bmikebauer

i love title, second verse and 11
 — stout