poetry critical

online poetry workshop



cadair idris to babylon
hank

spend the night whyfore?
 1
a madman or a poet?
 2
no rewards that i would choose
 3
when aliens are in orbit
 4
 
 
cottage at the base rests solid
 5
i trod this gizan plateau
 6
sear my hands, nurture things
 7
the onion valley of the kings
 8
 
 
your left arm an offering mount
 9
and my left foot asea
 10
a hanging lake filled by fount
 11
we've all dreamed to see
 12

4 May 10

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(452 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

'a madman or singing poet' -- that's the more usual formula for showing inspiration as Poet. lining up helping words makes this into a sentence, and a sentence is for proving something in an ad for deodorants.
 — bmikebauer

eh?
 — hank

it's not that brilliant. i'm surprised it's by you. are you doing best-sellers?
 — bmikebauer

yeah, to the first (it's not that good). wish i could to the second. rhyming, though it comes easy, doesn't lend itself.
 — hank

i thought you were into drinking, hank. it sucks, but if that's what you do then it can maybe help you get laid with poetry. it's about just letting go and not being afraid to sound fruity -- you'd be surprised at how wiggly the boys get when they're improvising away from the girls. there's a place for every kind of poetry.
 — bmikebauer

pretty good.
 — psychofemale

sounds like you're searching.
 — hank

bmike, i notice that you don't have very many poems of your own?
 — hank

there's what i've got here as trashpoodle and as my own. writing a poem isn't a joy, it's very traumatic for me. but, i do lite verse sometimes.

so, what are you concluding from this? that i'm less a poet than i ought to be, or a better one than some others? or, just commenting with nothing really in mind... i notice that this one of yours has more words than you often give. i don't know what that means though.
 — bmikebauer

i love title, second verse and 11
 — stout

0.224s