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peek-a-boo
psychofemale

I lost you
 1
in the forest of guilt
 2
Each tree making the same face
 3
as you,
 4
when I left
 5
 
 
carved into the bark
 6
that way on purpose
 7
reminding me of the past
 8
 
 
There's no going back
 9
There's no golden path
 10
leading me out
 11
 
 
Nothing but green mist
 12
clouding the future
 13
trailing back to those memories
 14
of you
 15
those memories of my departure
 16
 
 
I peek through the perfectly sewn spider web
 17
Hoping to look and see a brighter future
 18
 
 
but all I see are trees
 19
curling their limbs
 20
to place their leaves
 21
over their faces
 22
 
 
peeking at me
 23
just like I am them.
 24

9 Jun 10

Rated 7 (8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 5
Inactive (1): 9, 10

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(59 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

This may be the only writing of yours I actually like.
 — unknown

Well thanks I think haha :)
 — psychofemale

Like the concept and the creativity with which this is woven.

L17-18--maybe try shortening them to work better with the rest

Too many "throughs"--L18 could be "hoping to see a brighter future" and L23 "peeking at me"..?

L19-22 are wonderful!
 — sybarite

thank you :) I will try and fix that stuff and see what happens! thanks again for the input
 — psychofemale

better?
 — psychofemale

Very nice poem. Good analogy of guilt as a forest.
 — JohnW

Why thank you John! Glad you enjoyed!!!
 — psychofemale

i don't know what to say really...well
 — unknown

Well? I don't know either then lol
 — psychofemale

I think this is your best piece yet!  I am all about understanding guilt and your portrayal of guilt as a forest is outstanding!  the opening verse of this is very powerful and you carried that strength well through the rest of the piece.  Very nicely written.  10 from me!
 — Tandisol

Thank you so much!! :D That really means much!
 — psychofemale

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