|Love, Passion, Murder
I found hate
in the white of her eyes
where glass fractured
and down poured immortal tears
I licked her neck from the grave-
splashed scarlet tongue
through decaying lips
that she used to kiss
Condensed in a chasm of spite,
the crack of black smoke
bit the steel silence of night
all she has
is a photograph
in a stream of blood-
haunting her forever,
that image of me
framed in chalk
27 Jun 10
Rated 9.7 (9.7) by 3 users.
Inactive (0): 9, 10, 10
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beaucoup edits since posting
mean write from your gut
Thanks for reading psychofemale.
WEB I am in love with this.
thanks mandolyn. glad you like it.
Thanks a bunch unknown. 'preciate it.
A very JKWebish write--I really like lines 1-19. Nice work.
Many thanks PaulS for reading and making a fave.
Glad you like it.
Truly powerful write.
L17 might be tighter - "haunting her forever" perhaps and then losing "by" at L18.
But this is too good to tinker with much. I enjoyed.
for your time and insight. I'll have to give your suggestion(s) for 17 & 18 some more thought. Glad you enjoyed.
thanks again Abra.
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