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Love, Passion, Murder
JKWeb

I found hate
 1
in the white of her eyes
 2
where glass fractured
 3
and down poured immortal tears
 4
 
 
I licked her neck from the grave-
 5
splashed scarlet tongue
 6
through decaying lips
 7
that she used to kiss
 8
 
 
Condensed in a chasm of spite,
 9
the crack of black smoke
 10
bit the steel silence of night
 11
 
 
Now,
 12
all she has  
 13
is a photograph
 14
 
 
Her hatred
 15
perpetuates
 16
in a stream of blood-
 17
 
 
haunting her forever,
 18
that image of me
 19
framed in chalk
 20

27 Jun 10

Rated 9.7 (9.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (0): 9

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Comments:

beaucoup edits since posting
 — JKWeb

mean write from your gut
 — psychofemale

Thanks for reading psychofemale.
 — JKWeb

WEB I am in love with this.
 — mandolyn

thanks mandolyn.  glad you like it.
 — JKWeb

awesome write.
 — unknown

Thanks a bunch unknown.  'preciate it.
 — JKWeb

A very JKWebish write--I really like lines 1-19.  Nice work.
 — PaulS

Many thanks PaulS for reading and making a fave.
Glad you like it.
Namaste.
 — JKWeb

Truly powerful write.
L17 might be tighter - "haunting her forever" perhaps and then losing "by" at L18.  
But this is too good to tinker with much. I enjoyed.
 — Abracadabra

Thanks Abracadabra
for your time and insight.  I'll have to give your suggestion(s) for 17 & 18 some more thought.  Glad you enjoyed.
 — JKWeb

few changes-
thanks again Abra.
 — JKWeb

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