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ਜਝਞਟਠਡਢਣਤਥਦਧਨਪਫਬਆਇਈਉਊਏਐਓਔਕਖਗਝਆਆ
 1
ਙ                                                                                                          
 2
ਛ       a bold indigo ceiling above-
 3
ਜ       the sky folds light                                                                              
 4
ਣ       and sheers green fields                                                                    
 5
ਜ                                                                                                                    
 6
ਢ      the sun swallows shadows                                                              
 7
ਡ      in reeds of epiphany                                                                          
 8
ਙ                                                                                                                      
 9
ਡ      I rise from embers                                                                            
 10
ਠ      thinking vengeance                                                      
 11
ਗ                                                                                                                    
 12
ਝ      my heart awakens                                                                              
 13
ਔ        ripping stitches
 14
 15
ਔ        eventually sleep
 16
ਡ         ingesting poison
 17
 18
 19
ਜਝਞਟਠਡਢਣਤਥਦਧਨਪਫਬਆਇਈਉਊਏਐਓਔਕਝਆਆ
 20

7 Jul 10

Rated 7.5 (9.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (5): 5, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(173 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

humm, george harrison work. 'and walk with slipped diligence' is too wordy, like you couldn't figure out how to write that in poetry. but, the piece is mostly pleasant and pretty and a nice read.

'poison' could be a glass of scotch, if the reader weren't interested in your life, but just reading this as a middle-class blah-blah from an over decorated living room.
 — bmikebauer

littered with brilliance.
 — manuka

RASKOLNIIKOV?
 — unknown

inGesting.  Not inJesting.  enjoyed otherwise.  Thanks
 — Haxxen

thanks all.
 — unknown

i like the presentation of this, an illustrated page made sacred by the sounds and shapes, it certainly improves the dalliance with the brightly illuminated miniature image in the middle.

one page of a book, a book that gives  simple answers to complex questions.
 — jharrison

The poem in itself is great.
Not sure I like the rest.
I know it is there to seem cool, but to me it just messes it up.
 — mandolyn

many thanks.
 — unknown

Unk.... I read this while listening to a love song on (The Cove) it was very pleasing, weird huh?   anywho this is quite interesting and original
 — goeszon

gracias.
 — unknown

some revisions, thanks.
 — unknown

What's with all the symbols?  

It isn't doing anything here as far as I can see.  

Does it say something?  

If not, then lose it, as it appears like novelty gimmick.

Not really meshing well with this.  

Is it bad?  Perhaps not.  I don't know.

It just reads fairly flat to me.

More like a descriptive writing exercise.
 — OldShoe

I think it is lovely and the writing makes this seem to me cryptic and gives it some flava- flavor
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I just do not feel the need to tell someone what they have to do with their own work. As they say 'you can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar".
Or in this case more beautiful feet with lilac foot scrub than with an Old shoe.
 — unknown

What's with all these knights of the square table?  

This isn't a middle school field trip to Medieval Times.

Who's honor are you trying to defend and for what purpose?

I'm tired of this "fly to honey" colloquial phrase nonsense being thrown around like it is some catechetical truth.

If I wanted to trash this poem, I would have.  I could have.  But I didn't.

It's a fucking opinion.  

It's feedback.  

Learn to deal with it.
 — OldShoe

Using Gurmukhī script to decorate your work detracts from the written effort. Sticking in a random scattering of Gurmukhī as the title is offensive.
 — DianaTrees

^^^ as was mine, feedback, deal with it!
 — unknown

Offensive to who?
 — unknown

Unknowns are little more than oxygen thieves, trolls and wanking cunts. Until you've the balls to sign your name, fuck off. If you find your heuvos, we'll talk about offence.
 — DianaTrees

You can catch more flies with vinegar than with honey.

http://www.scienceforums.net/forum/showthread.php?t=36340
 — Ananke

jkweb or trochee?
 — raskolniikov

Unknowns are little more than oxygen thieves, trolls and wanking cunts. Until you've the balls to sign your name, fuck off. If you find your heuvos, we'll talk about offence.
— DianaTrees
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You can catch more flies with vinegar than with honey. *****
 — unknown

I would hardly base my knowledge on some do-it-yourself- forum scientist. I need cold hard facts
anaker
 — unknown

seriously? You need cold hard facts to disprove a proverb? LOL
 — Ananke

http://books.google. com/books?id=dGRAtH4142UC&pg=PA334&lpg=PA334&dq=drosophila+attrac tion+acetic+acid&source=bl&ots=qaz0pRGua2&sig=hz5m8YFp6HwC8tTRO6U Q8eXi2VE&hl=en&ei=I8GzSae7K-HAtgfiu5DEBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&resn um=10&ct=result
 — unknown

Old Shoe, you can trash my poems anytime.
;)
 — mandolyn

^^
wannabe slut
 — unknown

^^^ I think you have your proverbs backasswards ^^^ ananker
 — unknown

hello everyone.  didn't intend to cause a stir.  thanks for reading and observations.   i used the "Gurmukhi" font because i couldn't think of a title when i posted..lol
and it just progressed.

salutations,
the author
 — unknown

^^ You did too- you ghurmonkey
 — unknown

mandolyn,

I am not partial to ugly, stupid women

monsieur soulier vieux
 — unknown

I meant nothing by it-- just that you are welcome to talk smack about my poetry. It doesn't bother me. But I would love honesty.

And THIS poem above-- is good except for the junk surrounding it.
 — mandolyn

frame is splendid.


i want to eat the words you have used. all words should hang from a line. upside down.

looking up at the sky or otherway round. depending on time.

as for the middle filler. it is just that. filler. poetic cliche. and destroys the art surrounding it.

thanks you. i have spoken from the shhhhhhhhhrooket of my hart. my name is bart.
 — unknown

thanks for perusing.
 — unknown

Ananke - Your delicious sense of humor (proverb, indeed!) is not lost. I sense brilliance in you.
 — DianaTrees

damn this was brilliant. i love the way it was presented
 — psychofemale

gratias ago vos.
 — unknown

lol the set up is so cute. i enjoyed reading it, very colorful.
 — Rss233

Old Shoe, i very much enjoyed the Medieval Times reference xP
 — Rss233

спасибо.
 — unknown

Hello there,

My name is Aly and I would like to know if you would have any interest to have your website here at poetrycritical.net promoted as a resource on our blog alychidesign.com ?

We are in the midst of updating our broken link resources to include current and up to date resources for our readers. Our resource links are manually approved allowing us to mark a link as a do-follow link as well
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If you may be interested please in being included as a resource on our blog, please let me know.

Thanks,
Aly
 — unknown

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