poetry critical

online poetry workshop

The Caravan Killer

No one knew why he did it,
some said he bore a big grudge
from when his home and rabbit hutch
were cleared to make way
for the amusement arcade
that sold fudge, fizzy-ade,
plus Welsh rarebits
to early morning campers.
One description;
giant ears long and straight
like a rabbit leering into headlights,
followed by a frightening grin.
Caravan sides prised open,
like a can spilling beans,
obscene in the dead of the night.
Occupants sprayed with mixupmatoesis spores
emerged on all fours,
bleeding from each pore,
extremities were open sores
but at least they died on holiday,
not slaving in a factory for shit pay.
The campsite’s now closed,
rabbits leap among neglected fruit machines,
hearing voices of lost souls calling,
trying to steer their way home
from their yearly vacation.

Additional Information

Mixupmytoesis -a very rare post tropical disease that spreads rapidly among Easter Bunnies, it seeps beneath the gold wrapping paper and turns the chocolate into a mud green colour very similar to that of my face after a night spooning down Singapore Slammers

8 Jul 10

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (3): 9, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(947 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


Hmm...my comment didn't appear:  second try.  This poem cracked me up.  You sucked me in right from the first.  (I live with rabbits, but I don't think that's the reason.)  Sinister and silly: one of my favorite combinations.  Thank you!
 — pittsburgh

Actually, it's silly and sinister, but whats a few word swaps between friends. Thanks for commenting Pittsburgh, silly sinister me really appreciates it

Larry SS Lark
 — larrylark

ah a conejito story!! my fave. thanks. enjoyed. robustly.
 — unknown

enjoyed it very much - like the flow and the vision - sinister and silly indeed. I like the idea that it might have been a chocolate bunny.
 — unknown

Silly and sinister? I thought it was a little more humorous and haunting m'self?

Some fantabulous images used here, spilled beans being the most vivid.

L20 - 21, nice observation, one of the most silly and sinister parts of this poem!

It read like literary cold sweats, only with a fraction or two less discomfort.

 — Squibble

and we're getting the lemonade stand out?
 — unknown

what a white knuckle ride of language you present us with, again, Larry.  never mind the plot, the thrill of words, the voltage, even the pyrotechnic monologue(ic) bit at the end left me pinned back in my seat by the poem's headlong momentum :)
 — manuka

I love bunnies ..don't you ..they are so mingingly furry and eat up all their greens

Larry hare baked pie Lark
 — larrylark

Hi squiggles

this is based on a real live crime scene and only the fur on the rabbits paws has been altered to protect the innocent.

Larry alls fur in love and war Lark
 — larrylark

I find luminous limeade stands out better

Larry glow worm Lark
 — unknown

this was a great write!
 — psychofemale

dear manuka

Why..you almost had me believing in this little ditty for a moment there

Larry won't get fooled again Lark
 — larrylark

Thanks PF...I appreciate your efforts...I think

Larry  truss no wan Lark
 — larrylark

Did you mean inflective form  pried?  in line 13. I always think of that disease when my dog sticks his nose down a rabbit hole.
Extremely creative writing, very sort of wil farell meets steven king ;)
 — ghost

Dear ghost

your dog will never turm sludge green and may it never swallow Easter Bunny wrapping paper

Larry tinseled Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Ghost

prised as in something being forced apart or open

Larry canny opening Lark
 — larrylark