| shingles and mozart
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Rss233
| you dont have to leave | 1 |
unless you expect | 2 |
the truth tonight, | 3 |
you know i dont | 4 |
have a problem | 5 |
with loving in denial | 6 |
one leg in the Nile | 7 |
we’re crafting stars | 8 |
on roof tops, | 9 |
kissing underwater, | 10 |
macaroni cards, | 11 |
and stereo sex. | 12 |
i pluck'd my violin | 13 |
into oblivion | 14 |
you'd always say | 15 |
how you preferred it | 16 |
scratchy. | 17 |
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26 Jul 10 |
Rated 9.8 (9.8) by 6 users.
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Comments:
two edits. why not salieri? and why not mandolin? thanks. i liked the piece as a distinguished member of the hair piece family myself. fanks.
— unknown
nice, nicely done. a little rough at the beginning, but it works, and maybe i can hear the first three lines in it as the intro to a mozart violin sonata.
— bmikebauer
this is lol, and it's good. i love raw stuff.
— mandolyn
why thankyou. ya the beginning is a little >>erp-ish<< i became increasingly motivated as i wrote the other lines, but it works :P
— Rss233
should it be "you'd always say" or "you always said" or you'd always say(break) how you preferred it" ?
— Rss233
Fine as is. Nicely writ.
— JKWeb
yah, "you always say", is carrying it as living right now inside your mind, instead of gone and remembered in another way... it's sounds easier too.
— bmikebauer
one thing you might notice about say/said, is that the 'd' in said is going to sound dissonant to the erred in preferred...? and the 'say' smooths into preferred's vowels and allows 'scratch' to be the interesting dissonant chord.
— bmikebauer
(revelation) thanks for the tip mike.
— Rss233
no need for a disclaimer--a good read--the careful introduction of sex ensures a many-layered texture to the close. wiley :)
— pittsburgh
thankyou
— Rss233
beautiful thoughts.
— manuka
Damn this is great
— psychofemale
Very well done.
— unholy
thank you very much :)
— Rss233
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