poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Swiss Cheese

I feel the wind blow
rudely through my holes
without asking...
sailing into the empty spots
I haven't filled yet.
The wind is stubborn,
it doesn't cease--
it is a reminder that I
must fill these holes before
they fill me.
I knew when I removed
those cancers
that even more dangerous
gaping holes would remain,
with the capacity to make me
sick as my secrets.
They warned me when I gave things
up, I would quickly need
to replace them with healthy
things, but that has proven
to be quite a feat.
A year later, I am still mourning
their loss.
Where did they go?
Is there some deep, dark, damp
cellar where character defects hide?
Do they throw raucous parties
for their toxic friends?
These guys were part of me
for years and suddenly--
they are gone,
I find myself alone.
I know I can't patch
these holes with lovers, family, friends--
another person is NOT
the answer...
It's just another co-dependent coupon
for cheap consolation and a short-term fix.
Let me just shove Jennifer's laughter
into this one, stuff Emily into this hole,
plug this one up with Stacy's needs and cover
over this casm with Lori's joy, then I can seal
up this last pit with Debbie's tears that I've dried.
I know that's not how it's supposed to work!
So, tell me...
Who will rescue me from myself?
What does a girl full of holes do
to get whole?

31 Jul 10

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New and improved... hoping for comment.... Thanks! ~forbster
 — aforbing

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 — wqw