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Summer's End
larrylark

Something seen today recalled
 1
heats slow rise among mottled ferns,
 2
old Wood burning, smoke bent east
 3
over fallen leaves that lie sodden,
 4
speak of a season irretrievably
 5
gone to decline.
 6
 
 
Can’t hide thoughts of frozen darkness
 7
while gazing at October’s rose,  
 8
recalling those who stepped
 9
from shimmering trains
 10
and swayed through heat's haze.
 11
Greeting friends at holidays end,
 12
as August's clock sends swifts away.
 13

13 Oct 10

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Comments:

beautiful larry,
might like to keep the apostrophes throughout the poem, like you have in October's,  if so you need 'Summer's' and 'August's'

i love rose/those
maybe you could break line 9 (either at 'those' or 'stepped'?)
just a thought.

lovely word, sodden.
nice poem :)
 — Estella

Thanks Estella

I really appreciate your consrtuctive suggestions

Larry sunshine boy Lark
 — larrylark

Very nice poem of seasons' decline. Something about the Fall that inspires feelings of things now gone and things yet to come.
 — JohnW

Thanks John. I dread the Winter though there is no reason why i should for following on from it is the glorious season of spring. It just seems that little bit harder to get through the cold as you get older and i am seriously considering hibernation straight after Christmas with a bar of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut only to be awoken at the beginning of March

Larry NUTS Lark
 — larrylark

sunshine boy,
L11 'heat's'
(sorry)

Cadbury's Fruit and Nut is my favourite.  
 — Estella

I sometimes feel like hitting myself over the head with a stick marked "punctuation Estella. Thanks for the further spot.

Larry grim grammer Lark
 — larrylark

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