poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Lost House
larrylark

We are lost.
 1
I point with uncertain finger,
 2
among the geography of a house
 3
that no longer exists.
 4
Trying to re-open the cellar door,
 5
spooning down thin soup,
 6
from a steaming tureen
 7
placed on a side board.
 8
 
 
Gazing at the ghosts of pictures,
 9
photo’s, memento’s
 10
that leave little meaning.
 11
The spirits of long ago voices
 12
rise beyond the back yard wall,
 13
secure as castles wreathed in mists,
 14
that vanished yet were always missed
 15

4 Nov 10

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (0): 9

(define the words in this poem)
(649 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

i prefered the 1st stanza to the 2nd, especially lines 6 - 8. i think it ends rather weakly, and in my opinion, line 14 and 15 are your weakest.

still, some good images.
 — raskolniikov

I love L16.
But the first 8 lines are gorgeous writing.
*I point with uncertain finger
:)
 — mandolyn

It is known that money makes people autonomous. But what to do when one does not have money? The only one way is to try to get the loans and secured loan.
 — unknown

lost in larry larkism is a good thing to me.
 — unknown

Hi raskolnikov

I have omitted those two lines on your advice and will leave it to see how it feels now for a day or so...thanks as always for your help

larry
 — larrylark

It was easy for me to write that line mandolyn as my head frequently feels like a castle wreathed in mist and the fog shows no sign of clearing

Larry pea souper lark
 — larrylark

I hope you can find me because i am lost to myself

Larry compass and map Lark
 — larrylark

It suites me fine unknown
 — larrylark

0.23s