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demon on my headboard
psychofemale

staring me down
 1
the one low beneath
 2
there's a demon on my headboard
 3
do you wonder how I sleep?
 4
 
 
my dreams are angelic
 5
crystal not clear
 6
in the dawn they vanish
 7
like stars sharp as spears
 8
 
 
piercing my gut
 9
stabbing my heart
 10
these blades of glory
 11
sharp like darts
 12
 
 
a half burnt needle
 13
ripping the skin
 14
can't find beauty
 15
in this day of sin
 16
 
 
go back to sleep
 17
you won't find lies
 18
unless you wake
 19
in the demon's eyes
 20

10 Nov 10

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
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Comments:

    I have this demon in my head, he is just passing thru thank God... it seems to me that you could have wrote something more entertaining than what you have offered here ... this must have been a quick idea well it looks quick to me
 — gblade

i have a demon on my dashboard

the leftover of a dash of angustura,

when i messed my gin while drinking and driving,

as well as coaxing my daschound

to get out of the rearview mirror

and on the back seat.
 — unknown

Hi PF - it has good riddem but appears a wee bit rushed and needs a bit more polish in places. Like stars sharp as spears? - it make-a no sense to my addled brain. The third stanza seems to contradict the fourth - is there a way to combine the 2 into a single one? T'would rock then. Cheerz. mitch :-)
 — pdemitchell

i thought it was good! everything made perfect sense to me =)
i like it because its simple yet it has a bigger meaning. you didn't get too fancy with it
which i think a lot of people do, and in my opinion the poem just ends up sounding like a bunch of random words put together, and doesn't make sense. good job!
 — unknown

should watch Nat Geo 'Demonic Seduction'

now that is creepy
 — unknown

its a song i am working on..i really do have a demon face on my headboard
 — psychofemale

"in the dawn they vanish like stars sharp as spears..." i think of stars vanishing quickly from night into day and when spears are thrown they move fast
 — psychofemale

made a couple changes i like this better
 — psychofemale

great poem, filled with stark and effective imagery. i especially like the last strophe, which wraps up the poem nicely.

i might like to see the line "sharp like darts" as "sharper than darts" to help match the intensity of the previous lines.

anyway, nice job. you capture the spirit of being haunted, whether that was intentional or not.
 — listen

really good, showed this to a work mate, he thought it was hot
 — justicely

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