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taking me for granted
psychofemale

you look at me as if I'm rubbish
 1
like I'll rub off on you
 2
 
 
tarnish you...
 3
like useless gold once treasured
 4
 
 
to you, I'm the ring
 5
that makes your finger green
 6
I don't wash off for a week
 7
 
 
I'm unpolished furniture
 8
you lounge around on
 9
 
 
kick up your feet
 10
 
 
you never clean me
 11
always get me dirty
 12
 
 
you use me up
 13
until there's no more
 14
 
 
wait until I refuel myself
 15
so you can use me up again
 16
 
 
and when I finally play out
 17
you'll wish
 18
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
you'd taken better care of me.
 19

25 Jan 11

Rated 10 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (2): 7, 9, 10, 10

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(59 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

L12, 'get me dirty' you mean?
 — mandolyn

Your lyricism is getting sharper and stronger, PF .. love it .. keep on writing!

Love your work.
 — jharrison

Hi pF - I agree with mand et jen-chan - spiky low self-esteemy piece with a nice twist. Us males can be pretty
unfeeling at times and take those who love us for granted. Apparently, I have all the partner-awareness of a house-brick. Mitch :-)  
 — pdemitchell

you're wrong, i don't look at you like that at all. how can i? for starters, i'm cockeyed.
 — unknown

^^ Me, I'm just an opt-eyed cocktimist

PF the L18-19 gap is too huge and the tense in L19 is off - 'you'd taken' flows better. Cheers. Mitch :-)
 — pdemitchell

thanks guys :) i will make those changes
 — psychofemale

I really love where this poem went from lines 1 through 7, then the part about unpolished furniture took my mind off of what you were saying. I really like this poem and how you express yourself and maybe lines 8 and 9 fit, but they just seemed a distraction to me and what you were saying. Great poem.
 — Travis

thanks
 — psychofemale

bring l19 up
 — unknown

All people want to have a doctoral degree, but what is the way to do that? I will propose to search for the dissertation writing service to order the thesis examples related to this good topic from. I took that and had got good degree.
 — unknown

hm?
 — psychofemale

lines 5-7 really shine for me.
 — PaleHorse

thanks!
 — psychofemale

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