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The Tiger Who Came To Tea

“It was easy.
Just strolled out
while the zoo man
was rolling about with Stan the gorilla.
Went round Sophie’s,
ate the contents of the fridge,
one tub of vanilla ice cream
and a steak pud with dream topping
Her mum was a right bitch
so I swallowed her shopping list.
Drank all the water in the tap
after letting her sit on my lap.
Her dad came home,
ate the last garibaldi biscuit,
frisked me for drugs guns and ammo,
I was green to go, sitting clean as a whistle.
We shared a beer, human talk is weird.
Discussed animal rights,
he offered me a mortgage on my cage
laced with other financial shite.
I declined, things went fine for ages but I got real tight.
After coffee I staggered back through the dead of night.
Wor a waste won’t be doing that again in a hurry,
especially as I fell in a slurry pit short cutting the farm.
“Keeper!” I roared, pressing the bell to get back into hell.
“Don’t want to appear rude, but where’s my tiger food?”

My fav kid's book loved by children everywhere...especially in the jungle of life

1 Mar 11

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Wonderful rhythm.  Stumbled a bit around L24, it doesn't read quite as smoothly as the rest.  Love L9 and 17-20 are gems.  Great title--is it the title of the children's book you reference in the footnote?  
 — sybarite

Insipid posting because the site is infected by the virus. If the big kids were here you'd be hiding in the loo and not dare speak out.
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

sounds to me that you have caught something very virulent....you shouldn't let yourself get infected by bile because if it spreads to your poetic turn ups and then into your under garments you may be finished...actually you sound like you probably are already

Larry finished lark
 — larrylark

It is one of my fav childrens books and yes...the last part does need work. Thanks for the crit

Larry pussy cat lark
 — larrylark

Love it, Larry.  Nicely written.  I am not familiar with the children's book, but you have many nice touches here.  I like that the poem isn't blatantly first person until the second stanza.  I am also glad to see that you are still around and posting.  The site feels quite different to me than it did a few years ago.  
 — unknown

Fun but needs work sir Larry of Lark - it reminded me of Syd Barratt a bit if I may share it with you:


An Effervescing Elephant
with tiny eyes and great big trunk
once whispered to the tiny ear
the ear of one inferior
that by next June he'd die, oh yeah!
because the tiger would roam.
The little one said: "Oh my goodness I must stay at home!
and every time I hear a growl
I'll know the tiger's on the prowl
and I'll be really safe, you know
the elephant he told me so."
Everyone was nervy, oh yeah!
and the message was spread
to zebra, mongoose, and the dirty hippopotamus
who wallowed in the mud and chewed
his spicy hippo-plankton food
and tended to ignore the word
preferring to survey a herd
of stupid water bison, oh yeah!
And all the jungle took fright,
and ran around for all the day and the night
but all in vain, because, you see,
the tiger came and said: "Who me?!
You know, I wouldn't hurt not one of you.
I'd much prefer something to chew
and you're all too scant." oh yeah!
He ate the Elephant

Mitch :-)
 — unknown

 — unknown

LOL Mitch...a real tale of the unexpected

Larry rang a tang Lark
 — larrylark