poetry critical

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sun'll
hank

the sun is shining very bright today
 1
i can finally, and joyfully pee outside
 2
the sun suggests that not all needs
 3
need doing within one revolution
 4
the sun erases previous importance
 5
shows all as an illuminated menial task
 6
put my hearts on the grill today
 7
and the sun'll provide the celery
 8

19 Apr 11

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

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Comments:

damn good hank
 — antipoetry

thanks. sun helped.
 — hank

nice photo.
 — hank

Nice poem. Maybe L8 might be: and the sun'll will provide the celery

Idk...i just love the title is all lol
 — Known

nice poem, especially the celery part.
 — jenakajoffer

i like sun'll
and L2 is the best
 — mandolyn

glad that it erases the previous importance... thank God 4 that
 — aforbing

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