never thought it would take this long
in fact, i was sure that it wouldn't
but the things we know back then
only appeal to us now
i saw it as self incarceration
and still see it as such
difference being i am by you
my love shackled to your would
18 May 11
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do you mean "would" or "world" in line 8?
'Wood' also works - in fact I like it better.
'shackled to your would' is cliche and kills this, even though 'would' is brilliant. the word sounds work in the rest of the text, that you'd need 'shockled' to complete this as a poem. if you were able to write that.
yes, thank you for your comments. the last word 'would' was a stickler and changed many times. the only other word that 'would' work is will. in trying to decide amongst the two, i had to go for 'would' for its future tense and for it's uncertainty. and for its phonetic sound, obviously. thank you for picking up on this detail, you are incredibly accurate and hyenalike poetry critics. in this case, if it isn't 'will', then it must stay 'would'. tyler.
actually, it went from 'wall', to 'will', to 'would'. and there you have its history.