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How to Grow Humungus Tomatoes
larrylark

Uncle Georgie now keeps his ukulele
 1
hanging in the old green house shed
 2
among his prize tomatoes and inter bred aubergines
 3
dripping with drops from kettle steam
 4
 
 
His wife, after years of suffering
 5
from banjo ear, strum fever
 6
and drum disease,
 7
stunned him with an ultimatum.
 8
"Its either me or the marrows thats leavin'"
 9
 
 
So it has come to pass that we sit on our asses  
 10
son of a gun style in the old shed,
 11
huddled round the paraffin heater,
 12
beating a rhythm against the cold,
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pretending we are old wild west cowpokes
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with Captain Geronimo and Charlie Custer,
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our near neighbours, all fumed up,
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swearin’ that them tomato plants
 17
grew twice as tall if tuned in and kerplunked
 18
every dam dun day with a uke.
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With Geronimo on banjo, Custer playin the spoons
 20
and me whistlin’ tunelessly on flute,
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wavin’ the tape measure while owls a-hooted,
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we were on a dead cert, as the windows misted
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and the full moon blew dreams across a cloudy sky
 24

Humungus-slang word for very large

dun-done

22 May 11

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Comments:

The heady heights of 'owls a hooted' brought a smile to my face, Larry - but I have to wonder if you are trying to write like a yank here, when your strength stems from your Englishness.
 — unknown

LOL ..I guess you could say i kinda lost my way Mid Atlantic and finished up swimming all the way into New York harbor, or should that be harbour

Larry Englishman in New York Lark
 — unknown

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