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Sea Bass
larrylark

Granddad insisted that a wire attached
 1
to the flushing apparatus, at the back of the cistern
 2
in the outside loo was the G string from
 3
George Formby’s ukulele which had been
 4
given him by his Auntie Vi, who told no lies
 5
 
 
In the 30’s she was dresser to “The Son of Geronimo”
 6
whose stage act consisted of tossing thirteen tomahawks
 7
while decorously arranging feathers sewn into the buck skin skirt
 8
of his female assistant Nancy, named “Tiny Fawn” (considered by some
 9
to be faintly erotic, flirtatious, and likely to warm up a fancy.)
 10
He was one of the many support acts as George Formby
 11
took Hippodromes and Dance Halls by storm.
 12
 
 
Geronimo (real name Harry Soo) was partial to blue cheese
 13
and tomato sandwiches, though Fawn, with her disturbed past
 14
always had hers oozing mustard, downed with a pint of Bass.
 15
 
 
One evening George popped his gormless face
 16
round the dressing room door and said “I’m partial to the taste
 17
of a barm cake supper with sardines and tomato. Well lo and behold Aunt Vi
 18
had just the thing at hand, having had a go at fishing off the sands
 19
that very morning by a beached blow whale, but therein lies another tail.
 20
 
 
That night, halfway through cleaning his windows, plunka plunk a jinga jang,
 21
his G string twanged for a final time as he sang. When he came off
 22
he presented it to Vi with a signed note….
 23
”Thanks for the butty, it was divine
 24
I’ve never had it coated with brown bread before, can I come back for more?
 25
To my little barmpot Vi, with lots of sighs, from George.”
 26
 
 
George’s wife, his manager found out about the note
 27
The Son of Geronimo was taken off the bill
 28
and by the throat for acting the goat
 29
while Auntie Vi got one in the eye after having her heart sliced
 30
smote and smitten  but with her wrapper still intact,
 31
and went back to what she did best,,,, buttering the facts.
 32

23 May 11


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Comments:

nice. master story telling. thanks. F
 — unknown

Thanks for taking the time to read this tedious tale of broken heart strings behind the curtain of vaudville

Larry chordial Lark
 — larrylark

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