|while you stuff your moods, i wait
into a blanket
you lay over your lap
let me stay warm with you–
the sky can burst
into a billion drops of rain
while fire howls
inside the gulley
though it pulls my heart
i love only you
13 Jul 11
Rated 9.7 (7.6) by 5 users.
Active (5): 9
Inactive (5): 1, 2, 3, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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you really don't need lines six through nine to make something like a poem, but without its expansion on your feelings it would make the poem seem silly. i think you need to re-find the thought and feelings in stanza two and make a more brilliant transition between the physical and the emotional stanza.
ah. loverly. really perfect. thanks
thx for the read
thanks for the visit
i wished you loved only me...lol and a nice write as well...
I <3 Mandolyn!!!
This is beautiful Mandy. I really like your use of metaphor in all your work but in this one it is impecable--the poem short and sweet. Vey nice work.
Where did this one go?
^ i can bump for you if you want
^ You do not know her
i do not know either of you, now can it.
^ ♥ ?
i love this, btw. will fave sometime.
-unknown for keyboard st_ck
This is my favorite poem of yours. I'd like to frame it and sell it at Wal-Mart.
J/k. It would definitely be a Mall piece. But there would only be one and the price would go up with every offer. So it would eventually just go home with me.
lol, wal-mart is dead to me. you should try the tackle shop down the street. buy some beer why you're there, drink yourself to a levy.