|all my maps include the celtic sea
when my stomach talks
sometimes i feed it stew
i think of you
but not like that
we talked today
i could tell
that you were working
i pulled my eyelashes–
could picture your cheek
wrestling the phone
always smelled like fruit
so i ate an orange for dinner
7 Oct 11
Rated 10 (7.5) by 3 users.
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^you dont know how to read poetry
L9 and L5 are in cahoots
mbauer's comments are inconsequential. He doesn't even write poetry.
i'm actually satisfied with this piece. i mean, of course it could be better...
it is what it is
so you think i should start this with 13-14?
the next poem is already posted.
i doubt you'll think it's the best one...bauer
mike is that a wand in your pocket?
or are you happy to just be here?
all i care about is that you like it bauer...
well, as long as you like it i will be happy
but if you don't like it, i will be depressed and will end up writing poetry
Does mbauer have autism? either that or he's very very lonely.
i'm not smug. my poetry stinks. but this one smells like fruit.
i'm only being silly in the comment section. this poem is not silly. do you think it's silly?
Gobsmaked with the detail in L9. Amazing nuance.
where ya been?
nice and dreamy mandolyn.
This is sooo GOOD! It's funny, it's sexy and it's just plain COOL! Different. I like it! Referencing the Celtic Sea is tight in the title. However, when your stomach talks, wouldn't it be Gaelic? When MY stomach talks, it's usually bitchin' me out cuz I deny it that extra doughnut! Seriously, every line here is a winner! I now pass the torch to YOU. :-)
I never in a thousand years would ever have guessed. Very nice, Mandolyn! :-)
it 'felt' like yours and the way the words fall down the page in sultry-ironic is very-cool -- the title too
around. nice to see this getting the attention it deserves
shoosh my love, shoosh tktktktk
you're sweet, horse. i don't think it deserves any attention but i'm glad you like it. :)
unk^, is that your teeth chattering?
no. tktk ktktktktk is my chapstiks: sooshee oh sooshee
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This is amazing. I especially love the ambiguity and senselessness of what is going on, or not going on. The disconnect between the images and lines really helps with cohesion.
oops--thought I had commented on this already..I've read it several times. Nice work Mandolyn. You've captured the mood very effectively and I love the last line.
Nothing like an obligatory last line of near-nonchalant/random pointlessness to spice up a pie. I mean poem.
thanks syb :)
wanna go to the arcade?
I'm reading a story that takes place in Scotland.
I normally don't read the first poem that pops up when I log on, but it was neat to see this.
Nice to see this back on the front page. Still excellent. Closing line is a kicker.
wow, 2011. that was a mediocre year.
That's a ice cream cone.
That is what I think of this poem.
SO I want to know.... Did you write this one for me? Or about me? The 5th line makes it ok to answer.
i will direct you to the poem "when we were paper"
this could be a fun scavenger hunt on your end. ;)
Let's play. But let me get drunk first.
I like a lot of the lines, especially 1-2, 9, 12-15, but the piece needs focus. stick to one image- what happened to the irish stomach? I want to hear about blarney kidney stones and boozed out livers!
^ are you the nick who just liked my page on Fb?
this poem is a personal poem so that is why it may come off a bit confusing. any poems i write that are about certain moments or scenes tend to be shorter and choppy. thanks for your feedback :)
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