poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Early Morning Shop Q

Rhino eyes,
riddled with last night,
cider stale breath.
She’s a bed hopping
gob stopping mess.
No bag of  acid drops
is sour as her.
She spins  confections of lies.
Sighs, close to tears,
bitter as pear drops,
demonstrably half cut.
Gutter glued to a map of her ways,
while we creep into another crap day.
She pieces together the stormy weather
that blows hurricanes through
the tingling bliss of sherbet fizzes.
“You gotta wife?
A fag? Some change
I can rearrange?”
The orderly queue
disappears from view.
She looks me straight
In the eye.
Got one?
She chews her thumb,
I’m struck dumb.
“Wanna lick,
You old prick.”
someone mumbles,
while shifting foot to foot.
“I’m a bigger better scrubber
than you could ever fuckin' dream of.”
she screams, and in that moment
she is queen, as we survey the wreckage
of our torn and tawdry lives.
Striving to be what we'll never achieve,
some barely breathing

2 Dec 11

Rated 10 (9.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (1): 9

(define the words in this poem)
(953 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


Brilliant stuff Larry. You have painted a wonderful picture. I really must start getting to work earlier. cheers ;)
 — unknown

enjoyed reading.  I especially like lines 1-41.
 — JKWeb

 — unknown

i am faskinated by the Dickensian area i live in full of those adrift and awash...it reminds me of me....and its great having all day to do it not needing to work no more

Larry Copperfield lark  
 — larrylark

I think you read this poem word by word JK...well dun

Larry one liner Lark
 — larrylark


JK one word Web.
 — JKWeb

I never ever doubt your deeds JK

Larry Hi deedle ee Deed Lark
 — larrylark